Running With Hope (Hebrews 12:1-3): May 2023

Whew! So much has happened since I last wrote....I had vestibular rehab today and I was telling my PT all the things that had happened just this morning and she was like, "That all happened this morning?! And you made it here??" LOL So backing up...I can't remember exactly where I left off but after going to the ranch on Wednesday I spent time with my puppies, was supposed to have an appointment with a Nurse Practicioner at an office here that could do a vestibular test (VNG) to figure out exactly where my brain is at and my appointment was at 8 and I got a call at 7:27 saying the doctor was stuck in NY as his flight didn't go out so they needed to reschedule...it was a voicemail because they called in the literal minute I walked out to the garage with Jord to tell him goodbye for work. Mom T. was already headed my way so we just went to breakfast instead of going to lunch like we had planned and I spent some time with her at her new house. Friday I had accountability group with my friends Sarah and Mary Ellen--two precious sisters here. We've been meeting on Skype every other week for an hour for almost two years or probably over two years now and it's truly been a blessing in my life getting to know these sisters better and having a place we can share and encourage and just live life together. I was able to get a few things done around the house, but mostly I rested from Tues-Thurs being busy days. Then Saturday I ended up helping watch 7 kiddos with my 17 year old niece, Zoey. We were on a time crunch and had to run to WalMart before heading to watch the other kiddos so I came up with an idea of me and Zoey each taking one of her younger sisters and teaming up and racing to see who got done first so it would motivate Zoey and her sisters to move faster. We let the girls pick and Neriah picked me (she's 9) and Lily wanted to be with Zoey anyway....it was raining and Lily grabbed the only umbrella and we all got soaked but Neriah and I won by a longshot. Before we got out of the car Lily said, "we're gonna lose" and was ok with that so when they got back a brilliant idea struck--"Sorry Lily but loser loses the umbrella!" I'll share the picture we took in the car because even with the umbrella we were all soaked cause it was a good old fashioned Alabama storm and Lily's face was not happy, but hopefully she'll try next time she has to race! :) Life lessons come in all shapes and sizes lol and it's fun being an Auntie. We got to the friend's house and it was a crazy but fun couple of hours. Their youngest was not sure what to think of my machine and I got to meet their new crested gecko, Oscar, and their new parakeet, Amy. We had a lot of fun and then headed to Neriah's dance recital....I thought I would be ok cause I envisioned something totally different than what it was....so two dances into it I was so dizzy and nauseous I had to escape out to the lobby and eventually outside because when people would come from other things (it was at the Von Braun Center so the lobby hall was super echo-ey) and stood to talk, I would spin even more. I was downing ginger candies and bubly and this was even with hydroxixine on board cause I knew it was going to be hard, but very much underestimated it. I was able to watch Neriah do one dance and then I went with Brandon and Lily to get food and had Jord meet me there to take me home. It was very disappointing for me and I was in tears at one point, but God is faithful, He was with me and comforted me. I literally got home and crashed HARD...I fell asleep at 6:30 without doing evening treatments and slept until 5:30 in the monring--I really needed that sleep. My brain was still tired and overstimulated from Saturday so I was able to be in the sanctuary for worship but couldn't listen to any of the sermon so I spent most of the church service walking around outside. I was so grateful to be there though--I walk in and immediately feel refreshed and like I'm HOME. What a sweet foretaste of heaven our church family is--so very blessed to be here!!! Yesterday was a bit crazy cause I got Jord off to work but he wasn't feeling good so he ended up coming home and crashing after two hours, so I was taking care of him and trying to catch up on house stuff because nothing go done around the house all weekend. He needed meds from CVS and since I was doing ok with my morning dose of hyroxixine he okayed me driving the corvette the back way to CVS that's 5 minutes from our house. The corvette is an 85 and so you can take the hard top off so I can see a lot easier and pick focus points and so I did get a focal migraine and was super nauseous by the time I got there, but it resolved when I got home so this is a HUGE victory. Definitely not driving far anytime soon, but at least I know I can get meds when we need them. Then this morning I had rehab at 9 and I was taking care of Jord and trying to get out the door and turned water on to fill a bowl to rinse my nebulizers after treatments and then walked off and forgot about it......and started getting ready. I remembered I might need my swimsuit cause my driver, Sarah T (different Sarah from above) was taking me to rehab and then we were going back to Mom's to help her watch kiddos with a kiddie pool while Kayla went to her first OB appointment to get an ultrasound etc. I stopped getting ready and walked out to put my swimsuit in my backpack and our kitchen and part of our living room were flooded.......I started grabbing towels and cleaning up and was very thankful Jord was so sick that he wasn't going to walk in and see the mess. I got it all cleaned up and then walked in teh office and was like, "Please don't kill me but......" Our flooring is LVP and isn't supposed to get wet and there was one spot where it was already kinda split a little and the water seeped in there and around one portion of the wall. I'm really praying it didn't seriously damage it and I'm thankful Jord didn't get upset he just asked me to slow down and think. We got him some Prednisone today and I gave it to him before I laid down for my nap and he was like a different person when I woke up--it was all inflammation in his lungs that was hurting him the most. Thankful he can take it! After all that, I made it to rehab, told her all that had been going on and she was amazed I was able to do all that I had been doing and so because I was already a little nauseous from cleaning up the water she just had me stand on a foam pad and focus on a cross she drew on a paper so I had a focal point to focus on. Yesterday it popped up in my facebook memories that 10 years ago was my first vestibular injury with one of my favorite pictures of Crash...I was in a wheelchair because I couldn't even sit up on my own because I had no coping skills and had no idea what was happening. Jord brought Crash to the hospital to see me and she buried her head in my lap and someone snapped a picture and it's one I will treasure forever. In my memories today it I shared how one of the kids from our church at the time (Grace Bible in Phx) had drawn me a picture of the cross (It was James Kershaw....and he's not a kid anymore lol!) and when my therapist Wendy, came to see me, she told me about focusing on one spot visually and moving your body without changing your gaze. I talked about how focusing on that cross reminded me that I needed to keep my eyes fixed on Jesus to make it through that valley--and oh how true that is! Then we head to Mom's (sufficiently dizzy and nauseous and brain tired from rehab) and a worker broke a window at Mom's trying to replace it so she had to really quickly send the kids to another friend from church's house that lives in their new neighborhood so Sarah and I pulled a wagon over to the Apperson's to pick up Alice and Knoble. Knoble fell asleep in the wagon as we were getting back to Mom's house so I grabbed him real quick and put him on me and he was out. Kayla said he wouldn't transfer and I knew he'd be a bear if he didn't get some sleep, so I got baby--well toddler--snuggles for 30 minutes and it actally was good cause it forced me to lay down with him on me and listened to soft worship music and patting him to keep him asleep helped my vestibular system calm down. We ate lunch, saw the ultrasound pictures of the baby on the way, and then ran by CVS (yes, again...it's seriously like my home away from home--I know all about on of the guy's dogs that works there lol!) to get Prednisone for Jord and then I came home, got him more meds, did treatments, and then crashed HARD again--big surprise! Got a little over two hour nap and then got up and Jord was doing so much better. I walked the dogs, watered plants, got some dinner, and here we are finishing up treatments and updating all of you. :) So now you know why I haven't updated in a few days LOL. I so appreciate all the prayers and people checking in and loving us and supporting us. I have nothing planned for tomorrow morning but then we have a high school graduation for Micah Payton and then on Thursday we have Zoey's graduation. Lord willing, Friday will be another crash day. In the midst of all of this, I've also been getting updates on my dear friend, Candy, who had her second chemo last Tuesday, and it has been really rough for her so if y'all would be praying for her and her family I'd very much appreciate that! I'm also incredibly grateful that through all this craziness, I've been exhausted at times, but I was able to sleep and recoup and my new machine is making a huge difference in the way I feel already--very thankful! Here are some pictures and then I'm off to bed! Oh yeah--my nephew Ryker, also had his tonsils taken out and had some rough days so Aunt Shel sent him a stuffed dinosaur he named Bluey lol...its the little blue one...this kid is crazy about dinos lol.

It's been a couole days...somce getting off IV I've been getting back into a routine at home. Ive been able to walk the dogs for at least 2 miles and then go to vestibular rehab yesterday. Monday I tecovered from the weekend--after Saturday's celebration, we had church and Mother's Day so I was wiped. Today, after trying many times, I finally was able to get to the ranch! Victory Alliance Ranch is a ranch that specializes in working with veterans with PTSD and other injuries and also children with disabilities. They are going to compete in the state Special Olympics show this weekend. My friend Fathom drove me and we cleaned out stalls and swept the aisle and then I was able to help bring the mares in for feeding time. The owner, Karen, rescues horses--she has 73 equines, including a handful of donkeys. Her most recent rescues from a kill pem had all their teeth pulled...sin is ugly and evil! So thankful I serve a just and holy God who will judge every sin One Day! It was amazing to just be around the horses--oh! She has a Russian Buddony mare who had a colt recently named Yuri--we gave him butt scratches abd he absolutely loved it. I had never heard of this breed until I went to the ranch yhe first time a few months ago. It was bred to be a strong molitary horse from 1921-1940's in Russia. It was so sweet to escape from all the doctors and rehab and feeling cruddy and just breathe in horses and love on them. Horses are truly one of God's greatest gifts! Now to the title of the blog--my God who provides--Since getting home from the hospital I finally hot the Volara--a lung machine that is $20,000 and insurance denied both times. Hillrom, the company that makes them, approved me for financial aid for a mere fraction of the cost so I have it and have been using it and could immediately tell it gets the medicine deeper and just helps me clear out mucus better. Im SO thabkful for this! Then, insurance approved my bearing aide upgrade request and it came yesterday!!! I just have to make an appointment with my audiologist to program it and theh I'll have a hearing aide again for the first time in 5 years...I lost my old one in 2018 after Grandma passed away and life juat went crazy. A lot of people dont realize i have 80% hearing loss in both ears, but lip read and its amazing how your brain pieces words together from hearing parts of words. Tomorrow I see a new ENT murse practicioner in an office that does a special vestibular test. I couldnt just get the test--I had to see one of their docs first so I have that in the morning at 8. Enjoy some pictures from the last few days!