We haven't done testing yet to see how much damage was done or if it can be repaired or if the body will slowly heal it or if the damage is permanent. They don't have the equipment to do the specialized testing here, so it will likely be done when I am discharged and see an otoneurologist. I would appreciate prayer for me to take my thoughts captive...it is a constant battle right now. I want to begin to process the major lifestyle changes that are going to take place, but at the same time, if I think too much I get overwhelmed and anxious and emotional. So many things make sense now. When I went through the Symptoms I was in shock. Not because there was a lot to take in but because I LITERALLY HAVE EVERY SINGLE SYMPTOM ON THAT PAGE. Yes, every single one. Many of them I have had for over 15 years. It's ironic that just as I finally got a PCD diagnosis when I was 13 it was around that time that I remember experiencing some of those symptoms. So many things make sense now! It's a relief to know that it's not "all in my head"...well it kind of is because my brain isn't communicating correctly, but you know what I mean. The road is going to be long and hard, but at least we have a diagnosis now and can know what to expect and prepare for in some ways. It's ironic that last summer I saw every specialist except a neurologist, which is the ONE doctor that would have been able to diagnose me.
As far as timing in being able to go home the Vestibular Therapist said that when I can safely get into a wheelchair with some help--WITHOUT GETTING DIZZY--I can go home as long as I have 24 hour care. Right now, just as I'm typing and looking at the screen if I don't focus on a still object or look away while I type, I get dizzy and the nauseous, so I've got a ways to go, but the daily therapy is really helpful. I'm learning to widen my stance and tricks for balancing and reminding my brain through touch that my ears are lying to it--I'm not really spinning or on the verge of falling, even though those are the signals my brain is receiving from my ears. It reminded me of how we have to shepherd our hearts. Our emotions are unstable and up and down and we cannot always rely on their signals--we have to take our hearts before the rock of God's Word and tell our hearts, "Even though what you are feeling is very real, you are believing a lie--God's Word says THIS is truth, not what you are feeling."
Speaking of dizzy and nauseousness, I better go, but hope you enjoy the Spoon story and take the spoons God has given you each day to live for Him as He has called you to.
Trusting Him,
Rachelle :)
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| My "Pillow Fortress" :) |
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