Tuesday, January 18, 2022

Choosing Between Side Effects

 Good morning all,

  At the moment I'm itchy, unsteady on my feet, have a dry mouth, my skin on my face is super dry and hurts when I put lotion on it and when I try to read stuff on my phone my vision is a bit blurry--some of these are from the colistin and some from the scopalomine patch that is helping my dizziness and nausea.  I will be talking to the doc first thing this morning and see what they say--do I want to deal with the vertigo and feeling like my head is being crushed underwater or do I want the blurred vision, super dry skin, and dty mouth? Thankful God knows what is best and will lead the way.  Oh, they also added a saline bolus (a bag of fluids) before giving me colistin since they got lab results back.  I haven't talked to them about it, but the fact they added the saline means my kidneys were probably not happy.  They re-drew labs at 4:30 this morning too so I'll update everyone once I know more of what's going on.  Dr. Solomon came by yesterday afternoon and asked if I was ok to push through--I said yes.  I am between a rock and a hard place because I have so many reactions but my pseudomonas (the bacteria I'm colonized with) is multi-drug resistant so this combo of high powered antibiotics is necessary to get my lungs better.  He also mentioned that if my lungs clear up while admitted he may be able to send me home without IV antibiotics towards the end of the week.  That would be amazing and what we are praying for, but also trying to hold that ideal loosely, as God's plan may be different from ours.  


Speaking of which, Jord went to the ER yesterday in severe pain and found out he has a 3mm kidney stone.  We were in two different hospitals 90 minutes apart.  It was so hard to not be able to be there with him--he said the pain was an 11 and worse than his heart attack pain.  He's on pain meds every 6 hours and other meds to open up the path and gets to go see a urologist.  In talking this morning he reminded me that I got a small taste of how helpless he feels everyday--he sees me in pain everyday and there is nothing he can physically do to relieve it.  It is SO much easier to be the patient rather than the caregiver!  Caregivers are often the silent casualties of chronic illness.  The divorce rate is 75%.  So so so thankful for the man God made just for me and that we have a wonderful marriage, by the grace of God.  


I've been watching Joni videos and they have been so encouraging and also listening to her book, "A Lifetime of Wisdom" on audible.  She is always such an inspiration and encouragement to my soul.  


There have been times during this visit where I have been tempted to anxiety and started down the path of not wanting to be alone but then God helped me take those thoughts captive and remind myself of truth--He IS with me always, He will never leave me nor forsake me and I am NEVER alone.  As Joni says, "The harder we lean into Jesus the stronger we find Him to be."  


Our church here has been incredible--we have so many offers for help, meals for Jord, prayers, texts with verses and encouragement and Jord had people from work offering to drive him to the ER and anything else he needed. We are SO thankful for this because it hasn't always been like that.  


My brain is getting tired with typing and the bigger screen so I'm gonna sign off for now.   I took the following photos the day after the snowstorm in Huntsville a couple weeks ago.  No two snowflakes are alike and these pictures just remind me of God's intricate design for the world and how big He really is! 





"Therefore we do not lose heart, but though our outer man is decaying, yet our inner man is being renewed day by day.  For momentary, light affliction is producing for us an eternal weight of glory far beyond all comparison, while we look not at the things which are seen, but at the things which are not seen; for the things which are seen are temporal, but the things which are not seen are eternal."
2 Corinthians 4:16-18 


***Talked to the doctors and we are going to remove the scopalomine patch and try meclizine.  She said it's just kinda trial and error and pick your poison.  So we'll see how it goes.  Thanks for praying! 

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