I have been reflecting on the loss of so many people around me this year and lots of friends and family members not only losing someone close to them, but also going through very difficult struggles themselves. My prayer list grows everyday and some days it overwhelms me to think of how much sorrow and sadness and struggle there is in this world because of sin--and yet at the same time an amazing amount of beauty, joy, and bliss is also to be enjoyed in this world because of God's amazing grace. It's the paradox of the mixed condition those that are in Christ find themselves in--we are saved and made for another world--free from sin and its power and presence, but still living in this flesh that is sinful and has sinful desires. O for THAT DAY when Jesus comes back and sets everything aright--what glorious Days those will be! In reflecting on these things, I wrote this poem in memory of Aurora. I hope it brings you joy in some small way.
Wednesday, April 27, 2016
#Aurorasjoy
I have been reflecting on the loss of so many people around me this year and lots of friends and family members not only losing someone close to them, but also going through very difficult struggles themselves. My prayer list grows everyday and some days it overwhelms me to think of how much sorrow and sadness and struggle there is in this world because of sin--and yet at the same time an amazing amount of beauty, joy, and bliss is also to be enjoyed in this world because of God's amazing grace. It's the paradox of the mixed condition those that are in Christ find themselves in--we are saved and made for another world--free from sin and its power and presence, but still living in this flesh that is sinful and has sinful desires. O for THAT DAY when Jesus comes back and sets everything aright--what glorious Days those will be! In reflecting on these things, I wrote this poem in memory of Aurora. I hope it brings you joy in some small way.
Tuesday, April 19, 2016
Health Update: Sinus Surgery May 30th
I also saw my PCP (Primary Care Physician) yesterday and she said my right base sounded a little dim, meaning I'm not moving air as good in that area, which isn't *normal* for me in the past, but not sure if that's part of my *new normal* or not. Would love prayer for the lung doctor situation--there is a new doctor that is coming and going to follow me in clinic but there have been some hiccups and she doesn't have a schedule yet. The doctor that was seeing me is doing more inpatient stuff, so have a call into the clinic to find out who can see me in the meantime because I have to do a full set of Pulmonary Function Tests now that I'm not actively sick and get cleared for surgery, and come up with a plan for the surgery--I will likely be admitted as surgery is hard on your lungs. I'm not sure if they will just want to observe me or if they will want to put me on a preventative course of antibiotics to keep things from getting out of control before it starts, but obviously any antibiotics come with risk with me. I also need to have a port placed prior to surgery, which is a minor surgery in and of itself. That way I don't have to get another PICC line and have the risk of infection again. There is still a risk of infection with the port when it's accessed but not near as much as with the PICC lines. (If you would like to learn what the difference is between the two, here is a link to a PICC line description and here is a link to a Port a cath (what they use for chemotherapy). I had a port for 5 years, but it clotted and had to be removed in 2012.
I haven't really had time to process stuff yet--I literally got home from errands after the doctor's appointment, started treatments and this update. Surgeries are never fun, but they are a reality of PCD. This is far from my first (I was 11 months old with my first surgery--a set of ear tubes) and it certainly won't be my last. As I get older and the disease progresses, things also get a lot trickier. I'm thankful there is time to prepare and to get all the logistics together before surgery, but at the same time, I'm disappointed because it seems like *just* enough time to get to feeling better and back to my baseline just in time to be knocked down again. Those are the thoughts I need to guard my heart against--and with truth from God's Word. This didn't surprise Him and He knows all the details and what is truly BEST for me--physically and spiritually. This may not be the beginning of the summer I had planned, but it's obviously what God wants for me. I'm sure I'll have my tears between now and then but in the end, God's grace is sufficient--even for the most complicated details of bringing a good, safe, comprehensive surgery plan together--and the hours I will likely spend on the phone lol.
Thank you, once again, for all the prayers, love, and support! Jord and I could not walk this road without all of you around us!
In His Mighty Grip,
Rachelle :)
Treatment time :) |
Monday, April 18, 2016
Prayer Spotlight: Russ and Ash Hoober
I love to pray and see how God answers those prayers--big and small. One of my favorite quotes is about Martin Luther who said, "I've got so much to do today, I need to pray for at least 4 hours before the day starts." That is always such a convicting reminder of how little I pray. Another quote that has stuck with me was when I was first saved someone said, speaking of Jesus, "He who needed to pray least, prayed most." There are many times in the New Testament where you will see Jesus going off alone to pray all night, or withdrawing from the crowds to pray. He is our example in everything--and how much more so in prayer. Prayer draws our hearts closer to the God of the entire universe--the only One who CAN change our circumstances in the blink of an eye or change our heart or habits. Oftentimes, we trick ourselves into thinking we want to "DO" something other than "just pray", but the reality is that praying is the BEST thing we can do.
When I was in the hospital, one way I was able to take the focus off of myself is finding out how others were doing and asking how I could be praying for them. When we "regard one another as more important than ourselves" as it says in Philippians 2, our eyes are taken off of our circumstances and focused on helping someone else, who is often facing even more difficult circumstances than yourself. Like the 3 year old girl Kinzie who was starting chemo, or the parent that just lost their child, or the friend that finally got pregnant and her baby has trisomy 18 and will likely not survive, or a family friend's little boy who just got diagnosed with a brain tumor, or the millions around the world that don't have access to medical care--yes 39 days in hospital was hard--BUT praise God I had access to a hospital and health insurance to pay for it (that stay probably cost way more than Jordan makes in an entire year!) and that I have such a wonderful support network that was able to stay with me, visit me, encourage me, pray for me, make me laugh on the hard days, and give me reasons to smile every single day. So without further ado, I'd like to share a prayer request for my very first "Prayer Spotlight" of the week. :)
Russ and Ashley Hoober are good friends of ours that we met at Grace Bible Church in Phoenix. We didn't meet right away, but Ash has some health issues and we connected in that way and then we started going out to lunch after church with their group of friends pretty regularly and got to know them even better. Ash and I have enjoyed praying together many times--Russ is a great leader and always has interesting dialogue to add to conversations, whether it be theological or political. They now have a 2 1/2 year old son, Augustine, and Russ was recently diagnosed with a rare soft tissue cancer. Ashley sent these specific praises and prayer requests:
Praise God for:
1. That we trust in the Father of Mercies and God of all Comfort and that are days are like grass (short!) (2 Cor 1, Psalm 103)
2. Even worse that cancer is our sin! And it was crushed at the cross with Jesus! "He does not does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is His steadfast love toward those who fear Him! "(Psalm 103)
3. The Lord allowed us to find the cancer and treat (initially) quickly
4. That the Lord has changed Russ' heart- he is more humble, more joyful, and has an ongoing dialogue with the Lord because of this trial (Romans 5)
5. For our attitudes during surgery recovery and Russ' attitude to follow doctors orders and not be restless
Pray for:
1. Focus on the Lord in a season of waiting and uncertainty
2. Healing from the surgery, that the surgeon got all the cancer out from his surgery
4. To trust Jesus and His design that suffering is for our good
5. Wisdom for the team of doctors and oncologists we will be working with (fearful due to it being a very rare cancer)
They have also incurred a lot of medical debt and will likely incur more. A GoFundMe account has been setup to help them out. Please prayerfully consider donating to help them if you are able, at the very least, please keep them in your prayers, and I would love it if you would share the link on your social media sites. Thank you so much friends!
As a funny side note--Ash is saved in my phone with (Huskers) next to her name because she and Russ are big Nebraska Cornhuskers fans as he is from Nebraska--where Jord is from, and a very large part of my heart lives with multiple close family friends in Lincoln and other dear friends (our oldest and first nieces/nephew) in Chadron that I got to visit last May. Thank you for praying for my dear friends! I will keep you posted!
In His Mighty Grip,
Rachelle :)
Thursday, April 14, 2016
Home Again, Home Again, Jiggity Jig :)
Happy 3rd birthday Landon! |
Hunter and Aunt Shel :) |
Gunner is getting so big! |
Headed to go ride my horse! |
How Uncle Justin babysits Hunter, or the other way around :) |
Friday, April 8, 2016
Officially FREE!!!
This girl has escaped the hospital, praise the Lord! One last divine appointment as we were loading up the car a young girl in a purple jacket was sitting outside with her Dad hooked up to her IV. Her Dad saw my vest and asked if I had Cystic Fibrosis...I explained it was similar and gave her my card. Right before we were pulling out, I asked if she liked horses...she lit up and said she had always wanted to ride a horse. I told her to call me when she gets out and I would take her for a ride...she lit up even more and it brings tears to my eyes, even now. Please pray for Sarah and her Dad...she just got to the hospital and will probably be there for 2-3 weeks. This world is full of disease and suffering because of sin, but there WILL be a Day when Jesus comes back and sets the world aright!
Praising Him!!!
Rachelle
Heading Home with Some "Lessons from my Hospital Bed"
To say I'm excited this morning is quite the understatement! 2 hours and 15 minutes from now, Lord willing, I will be getting into my Mom's car and heading to my new HOME!!! Not that anyone is counting or anything. ;) This morning some good friends of ours shared a link by John Piper called "Lessons from my Hospital Bed." They were our small group leaders when we were at Grace Bible Church in Phoenix, Jeff and Mandy. Jeff has Rheumatoid Arthritis but has recently had a scare and awaiting results to some very scary and serious tests--the kind that change your life forever. Please keep them in your prayers, along with their beautiful children, James, Miriam, and Isaac. One of my favorite stories that Mandy shared one time is about their daughter, Miriam. She was sick and throwing up and she told her Mom, "Throwing up is the 2nd worst thing in the world Mom!" Mandy asked what the first was, thinking of something physical. Miriam replied, "Sin is!" Out of the mouths of babes come incredible truths from God...reminds me of when Jesus calls us all to "have the faith of a child."
These "lessons from a hospital bed" are O so true my friends! Praising God I get to escape after 39 days, but LOVE seeing those divine appointments that he talks about in #3 up to the minute of getting in the car and going HOME! Whether it's the lady in the hallway crying who just lost her brother suddenly and her husband might have blood cancer or the military guys that just lost someone. The Granny in the elevator whose 3 year old granddaughter is starting chemo or the cleaning people who need to be encouraged and reminded that their job is important too--in fact I miss them the most when I go home cause the trash doesn't magically disappear there! #5 reminds us to again have the faith of a child--through the searing pain and cloudiness of drugs, our minds often can't focus or think and simple truths are exactly what we need in these difficult times:
Wednesday, April 6, 2016
New Possibility 4.6.16
I saw a pulmonary doctor a few minutes ago and he is proposing to the team that I go home and finish out the antibiotics there. I was under the impression I had to be in the hospital the entire time of the Cefepime as I had been desensitized to it, but he said since I've been on it so long with no problems, he didn't see any issues with me going HOME and finishing out the antibiotics there, so we are shooting for Friday to give the hospital time to coordinate everything so I don't end up at home without something I need. Excited you ask?? BEYOND excited!!!!
Tuesday, April 5, 2016
Praises, Prayer Requests, and God's Incredible Kindness 4.5.16
Monday, April 4, 2016
Jord and I's Story :)
When I graduated high school, my best friend Melisa, and I spent a lot of time together that summer. I can still vibrantly remember sitting at the little table in her parents front room--I can't remember what we were doing, but the conversation went something like this: "Ok, now that we are out of high school and in college, we've gotta get a boyfriend. No more of this not dating thing. So God, (yes, we told God how it was going to go--real mature, I know!) the second day of class, Melisa is going to walk in and there is going to be the blonde hair, blue eyed guy and she's going to drop her pencil, he's going to pick it up, and the rest is going to be history." We laughed at ourselves and didn't think anything of it and kept doing what we were doing.
That Sunday before classes started in August, our church, Casas Adobes Baptist Church, had just started a college youth group. We got there and there was a new guy--blonde hair, blue eyes and super cute! We were at the mall later that day and both were like, "Did you see that guy??!!" Lo and behold, next week on Tuesday Melisa walked into her writing class and guess who was there--yep, Nick--the new cute guy from church. We couldn't believe it! Melisa did a writing project with him in class and we decided to get a group together to go to Funtasticks and Melisa invited Nick and told him there was a big group going. I invited a guy from one of my classes at the UofA but he couldn't go and Melisa invited her cousins, but they got the dates mixed up so the night comes in August of 2002 and Melisa and I are sitting at Funtasticks--by ourselves--waiting for Nick. We were going, "What in the world are we going to tell Nick?? This is SO awkward...we told him it was going to be a big group and here we are just us, waiting for him!" We saw Nick approaching our table and I looked up and noticed Nick had brought a friend with--my thoughts went exactly like this, "Oh! Nick brought a friend....oh...he's ok." Yep, you guessed it--that was Jord and the first time I set eyes on my hubby. He still teases me mercilessly about those thoughts!
We had a great night miniature golfing and all four of us started hanging out all the time. We met a lot at Nick's house cause he had a pool table and a pin-ball machine (didn't have to use quarters!!) and watched movies. In December of that year, we got invited to a New Year's party at Jord's house, but I couldn't go because my Mom's rule was that I had to stay the night wherever I went, and that obviously wasn't going to work. Jord and I had exchanged phone numbers to talk about the party. Over Christmas break, Nick, Jord, Melisa, and I along with several others went up to Mt. Lemmon to play in the snow. Jord and I got in this huge snow fight and I remember thinking, "I'm totally flirting with him...do I like him? What the heck, why not??" Nick got hurt flying off a tube sledding, so we had to leave early, but Jord also did a snow angel in a t-shirt...yep he definitely wasn't from AZ!
We started talking on the phone everyday after exchanging phone numbers. All 4 of us went to Quizno's on Thornydale that has since shut down and Jord's sandwich actually caught on fire. We all laughed at that. Before we left, he handed me an encoded poem that I had to use my good ole T-I 83 calculator to decode. I was riding with Melisa and we had stopped to get gas, so I started working on it and he had said, "I just wrote this the other night...it's not meant for anyone in particular, but thought you might like to read it." I got the first line decoded, "On a spring day or summer night, your beauty is a wonder to my sight." I got chills and somehow knew right then he had written it for me. (Sorry honey, your secret is out!) We started exchanging poems and talking everyday and one day Melisa, Jord, and I were sitting in her car talking after classes at Pima when we both said we liked each other. The first time we held hands was praying before dinner at Melisa's house (that was what you did...Melisa, there were a lot of firsts with you involved!).
Finally at the end of February I was helping my family unload the camper and talking to Jord at the same time. I remember sitting down on the love seat in the living room and asking, "Ok. So if we aren't dating and we aren't courting, what are we doing? Where is this going?" He promptly replied, "We're dourting." I laughed and then said, "Serious answer please...." He explained that his parents had been praying for his future spouse since they adopted him at 6 days old and he had started praying when he was 13 and he figured he'd just get to know a girl and then marry her. I remember thinking at the time, "But you date! What else is there? And that is the dumbest thing I've ever heard!" He went on to say that he would tell his friends what he wanted to tell them and I could tell my friend what I wanted to tell him so I said, "Ok, you're my boyfriend then." So February 22, 2003 became the "official dourting" date. The next day was my birthday and he showed up at a gas station meeting me with literally a bucket of flowers from Trader Joe's.--it took 6 vases to put them together and he had gotten me a lot of stargazer lilies which have become my favorite flowers.
Later he would tell me that before he agreed to let me call him my boyfriend he knew he was going to marry me. I asked him how in the heck he knew that because I had contemplated breaking up with him at one point because as a new believer I was trying to figure out how to make God first and had a prayer written at the end of Philippians that went something like this: "Lord, help me to make you first, whether that means quitting school or breaking up with Jordan, I want to make you first in my life...." I was wrestling with how much I loved Jord and didn't understand how I could love someone so much and wanted to make sure I was loving God more. I didn't go through with it and I remember walking through the desert in late March of 2003 and I knew I was going to marry him. Had we not both been going to school and living at home and not able to afford to get married, we would have done something like my Mom and Dad did where they met in April and were married in September, but we had to wait on God's perfect timing.
We got engaged that November...we had been to visit my Grandma and Grandpa Moor in Casa Grande and he was staying the night at my parent's house that night. On the way home, he asked if I wanted to take a walk when we got there...I remember looking out the window dreamily as we passed Picacho Peak and thinking, "He's going to ask me tonight!" We got to the house and we went inside and it was dusk and he asked me to go help him get some stuff out of his car. He asked me to grab his clothes out of the trunk while he grabbed something out of front of the car. I grabbed his clothes and then noticed a suitcase next to it and figured he needed that too...I started to pull it out of the trunk and it was unzipped and something fell out and hit the ground. It was November 8th and his family gives gifts at Thanksgiving. I knew he and his Mom had been shopping at the Thomas Kinkade store earlier and Jord can't wait to give gifts so I assumed I had ruined an early Thanksgiving present. I put the clothes in front of my eyes and said, "I didn't see it, you can give it to me later, I promise!" He sighs, picks it up, suddenly realizes I really didn't see it, amazingly it hadn't broken and says, "I was going to give it to you right now anyway." He hands me a beautiful circular box with a lighthouse scene on top of it. I briefly saw something about "You are my sunshine" on the front and then he says, "It's a music box, open it." I take the lid off and saw a folded over piece of paper--I thought it was one of those keep fresh packets. I finally realize it's a folded piece of paper and open it and it says, "Will you marry me?" and he pulls out a beautiful amythest ring. I literally froze and was speechless for the first time in my life. I turned around and said yes and disappeared into his arms. A funny side note--he had a pretty purple flowery paper that he had written on but forgot at home, so he tore the corner off his chemistry notes and scribbled on it and that's why it was folded over...both pieces of paper are still in that music box that is always displayed in our bedroom next to one of my favorite wedding pictures. The ring had been his Grandma's high school graduation present and no one in his family had a birthday in February--it just so "happened" that my birthday was in February and purple is my favorite color (if you haven't already guessed that by now!).
Just over a year later I did end up quitting school so we could get married. That, however, is another story for another time. We got married on December 3rd, 2004 and it is true what they say--every year it just keeps getting better. Jord, you are my best friend, the love of my life, and my greatest earthly treasure! God knew more than I ever could just how much I would need you these last 11 1/2 years....we've walked some pretty deep valleys in the last 5 years, but our love has only gotten stronger! To God be the glory, great things He hath done!