Inspiration for my Dreams

     If you know me at all, you could probably tell people what some of my passions are: Jesus, horses, animals, and helping people.  My passion for horses started a long time ago when Mom brought me home from the hospital and held me on a horse for the very first time when I was 9 days old.  I don't ever remember not knowing how to ride--some of my earliest memories involve horses.  I'm so thankful for the incredible privilege my parents sacrificed so much to give me.  Growing up, I assumed that my childhood was "normal" and that everyone had horses.  It wasn't until one night when we are at a State horse show and checking on the horses in the barn that my eyes started to be opened to what a blessing I had.  I was around 11 years old and as we checked on the horses a family was walking through the barn looking at all the horses and they had a little girl, probably around 8 years old.  Goldy, our Palomino Quarter Horse looked magnificent--he was in incredible shape and it was almost summer so his winter coat had shed and he was gorgeous.  We asked the little girl if she wanted to sit on him and her face lit up.  It was such a sweet moment to be able to brighten someone else's day just by doing something that I took for granted every day.  It was at that moment that I began to realize that not everyone was able to ride horses.

Mom and I at the State Show...me on Goldy and Mom on Red

Mom and me a long time ago! 

     Another defining moment for me was when my Mom's college roommate, Angela, brought her family out to our house to BBQ and ride.  This wasn't an unusual event--we often spent the weekend with family friends growing up.  What made this day so memorable for me is Angela's son, Nick.  You see, Nick was born with Cerebal Palsy--a neurological disease that permanently affects body movement and muscle coordination.  Just like any other kids that visited, we saddled up the horses and took him and his siblings for a ride.  Riding turned out to be like physical therapy for Nick.  At the beginning of the day when he first got in the saddle, his legs were really stiff and couldn't stretch very well.  After numerous turns around the property with breaks for food and such in between, his legs stretched out and he was able to ride a lot more comfortably.  Nick had the biggest smile all day.  From that point on I have always dreamed of working with kids or adults with disabilities with horses as therapy.

Nick on Goldy

     During rodeo days one February our 4-H club took Goldy and my rabbit, Pinkie, to a local nursing home.  I roped a dummy as a demonstration and then Mom led me and Gold up to the residents so they could pet him.  One elderly gentleman was trying to lift his hands up to pet him, but his hands were so arthritic, he couldn't get them high enough.  Without any prompting at all, Goldy dropped his head into his lap.  It's simply amazing the senses that God has given animals.  Shortly after I got Buddy, my Great Grandma Duncan was diagnosed with colon cancer.  They went in to do surgery, but the surgeon simply closed her back up and gave her two weeks to live.  I ran out to Buddy's pen sobbing and threw my arms around his neck and he literally wrapped his head around me, "hugging" me back.

     Little did I know how much Buddy would help me through some of my own health issues.  As I've had severe reactions to medications, I lost motor control and had tremors brought on by the vestibular or balance system injury.  Riding is such second nature to me, that it helped me rehab immensely this last time.  My Mom and sister would saddle him up for me and then help me on and I would walk around the property.  That first ride, I was unbalanced and Buddy knew something was off--he gingerly turned corners when normally he would have just turned.  When we stopped, Buddy would stand stock still while the tremors went a little crazy, but he never moved until Mom was able to help me down into a waiting chair.

First ride after last vestibular injury...Buddy took such good care of me!

 
  Sadly, Goldy is no longer with us.  We had to put him down several years ago at the ripe old age of 33.  We miss him terribly but I learned so much growing up with him!  From memories of me standing on a barrel trying to get him saddled, jumping on him bareback with no bridle in his pen and trying to get him to go where I wanted him to, to running Flags at the horse shows.  My sister and I having "races" under his belly, "skiing" by holding onto his tail and planting your feet in the dirt and letting him drag you, or the time a friend that was a novice rider was riding him and his bridle fell off.  All Mom had to do was step off her horse, tell him, "Whoa Gold" and he stopped and they put the bridle back on and away they went.  There were fun rides when he decided to be spunky because he knew I could handle it and loved it but the next day my cousin came out and he plodded along like an old plow horse.  He was an incredible horse that will never be replaced and I'm so grateful God gave him to us!

     I'm not sure where God will take these dreams or if they will ever fully come to fruition, or if it will start with just helping one person at a time.  I may not know what the future holds, but I know the One who holds the future and I'm excited to see where He leads in this area.  I remember reading a book by John MacArthur awhile ago called "Finding God's Will for Your Life."  I was like, "Awesome! This book will tell me what I should be doing with my life!"  I got to the end of the book and his conclusion was as long as you are being obedient to the Lord, making Him first, serving in church etc, then you can do whatever you want because He is the One who created you and gave you the passions and desires you have.  These passions have always been consistent so we will see what God does!

In Him,
Rachelle :)

Goldy, Mom, Jenny, Dreamer, me, and Buddy

Laying on Buddy recovering from a Psychosis episode

Riding my "Old Man" through the desert

Buddy with Goldy close behind

As Gold aged, we didn't ride him the last year, but he still followed along :) 

Teaching others about horses

        

   

Hope...the Best of Things

     Although it's been a rough couple of weeks there have also been some great joys and memories made over the last couple of weeks.  As I've had more energy, I've been able to babysit for my friends and make precious memories with my friends and family and their precious little ones.  The Bible is replete with the theme of joy in the midst of sorrow and the familiar Psalm, "weeping may last for the night but joy comes with the morning."  Biblical joy does not mean you are happy sappy jumping up and down, but rather it is a settled confident hope in eternal life and better things to come because of Jesus' atoning work on the cross for your sins and mine.  In other words, we have hope for a future with no more sorrow or pain.  However, God still pours out many blessings here on this earth in the midst of the suffering.

     

God's magnificent creation and gorgeous artistry is just one of the many blessings He pours out on us!

     Today was one of those days filled with blessings and reminders of God's great provision and orchestration of our lives for our good and His glory.  It started out with receiving some results from a culture I had from my lungs several weeks ago.  Although I am not really feeling sick, it showed heavy growth of the bacteria I am colonized with.  This morning I could tell I was feeling a little "off" and my lungs were feeling a little more junky so I decided to go ahead and start the inhaled antibiotics that I have on hand.  Heavy growth is never good and can cause lung damage so I really need the round of antibiotics, regardless of how I'm feeling.  I was so thankful that God had provided a stockpile of the very expensive inhaled antibiotic for free last year that I ended up not needing every other month, but I kept getting for such a time as this.  I am able to start the medication as soon as I need it without having to wait on doctor's offices or insurance companies and ending up in the hospital like last year.  This is a tremendous blessing that I don't take lightly.  

     Jord and I spent the morning hanging out and talking and then had one of our neighbor's over to watch a couple episodes of Agents of Shield.  So fun.  I then went walking with my Grandma and the puppy dogs and then spent the evening coordinating travel plans for some friends.  Nicole and Alyssa went to college with one of our neighbors and we met last year right before they headed out to do a road trip through all 50 states, while serving and ministering along the way.  I was able to make some connections for them early in their trip and I saw a facebook post this afternoon looking for some connections in the south.  Well it just so happens that a lot of my PCD friends live or have connections there.  Over the next couple of hours we got a couple states covered and more are in process.  It's so fun when I can help make connections and see the body of Christ at work all across the country.  I'm not physically well enough to do a road trip to all 50 states, but I have been able to pray for them and help them find housing along the way.  

     It got me thinking about PCD and my PCD family.  Although PCD is an incredibly difficult journey at times, I am thankful for it in multiple ways.  First and foremost, I have gotten to share the gospel of Jesus Christ with so many people because a lot of people ask how I cope or get through a lot of the struggles and my answer is always Jesus and the hope of heaven.  God has given me a broken body, but by His grace, this body has been used to tell people about the hope I have for eternity--and that I would much rather have a broken body here for a short while and have an eternal heavenly body with Jesus rather than have a healthy body here and be eternally separated from God and everyone and everything in hell.  Secondly, my PCD family is awesome.  Through social media we truly have built treasured friendships all over the world--that is why we so keenly feel the loss of Jorgen and are all fervently praying and rooting for Rebecca to get her new lungs.  We are fighting the same battle together and all cheer each other on when others are down and celebrate victories--no matter how big or small.  This community truly is amazing and beautiful--and I wouldn't want to miss out on it for anything in the world! 

     I was reminded of a quote by missionary William Carey: "I will go down [into the pit], but remember that you must hold the rope."  I am not physically well enough to go on the mission field nor am I well enough to do a road trip to all 50 states.  However, I can pray for missionaries and I have been able to pray for Nicole and Alyssa and make connections for them so that they can complete their trip.  Their blog is here: The Road Trip if you'd like to check it out in more detail.  :) 

     It's fun to dream and plan for the future--I am super excited as well because we are going on vacation with Mom and Dad T. to Florida this year and I will get to go to the ocean and DisneyWorld which I have never been too.  Although I've learned over the years to hold MY plans loosely because God can and will change them and life never quite looks like you thought it was going to, but it's what He has for you--for your good and His glory!  So I continue to "pray and go" as Mom T. always says and see where God takes me on this crazy adventure called life.  

Starting Cayston this morning :) 

Enjoying Auntie time :) 

Selfie bloopers 

Tired out kiddos!

Silly faces!

Treasured time with treasured friends

Funny faces with Landon

Fun times in the snow! 

   

      

Please Pray for a Fellow PCD Warrior

     Here I am yet again delivering news that I wish wasn't happening.  God is driving me so far past the end of myself right now all I can do is cry out to Him as my "Abba Father" to rest in His everlasting arms and remember that "The secret things belong to the Lord" Deuteronomy 29:29.  On the way home from the funeral for my Uncle George yesterday, one of my PCD friends shared a blog post.  I knew last week she had gone to an appointment to see her transplant team and that it hadn't gone well as she didn't share what came of it....that is until yesterday.  She is my age and just went through surgery for Thyroid cancer and was told at her appointment that she needs to go active--meaning she will be on the transplant list waiting for new lungs.  You can read her Blog Post Here: Living. Not Just Surviving.  My heart breaks for her and her husband.  This hits so close to home because any of us with PCD could all be in this same place some day.

     Last night I was an emotional wreck.  So much has happened so fast and I've been busy and going from one memorial to the next and in between helping friends and my sister with kiddos and I hadn't really had time to really and truly think and process and cry and feel the emotions.  Jord held me as I sobbed on his shoulder--then I turned to some of my favorite "go to" songs when I'm really struggling and cried some more.  Alone yet Not Alone by Joni Earekson Tada and Out of the Depths by Sovereign Grace Ministries were the ones I played over and over last night.

     This morning I felt much better, did devotions, then headed out to watch my friend Jenn's kiddos for her so she could go to a court hearing for one of her foster kids.  It is an absolutely gorgeous day here in AZ and I'm thankful that God is God and I KNOW He knows what He is doing in and through all of these difficult situations I am in and surrounded by.  I'm planning on writing a tribute to Uncle George but I just don't have it in me right now.  Thank you for praying for Rebecca as she prepares to wait for new lungs and for all my family and friends that are walking through these difficulties with me.  I'm thankful for each and every one of you!

Clinging to Jesus with all that I have,
Rachelle

Just Be Held

     If you listen to Christian Radio at all you have probably heard Casting Crowns' latest song, "Just Be Held".  This song embodies the week I had.  Our family friend did pass away last week and his celebration of life was this Saturday.  On Thursday, I awoke to find out that one of my PCD friends passed away suddenly.  And on the way to the celebration of life Saturday, I found out another family member passed away and services are this Wednesday.  Jordan has been sick with one of those colds that is going around so I went to church by myself today.  I got in the car this morning and as soon as I got in, "Just Be Held" came on and I just started crying.  Here are the lyrics:

Hold it all together

Everybody needs you strong

But life hits you out of nowhere

And barely leaves you holding on

And when you're tired of fighting

Chained by your control

There's freedom in surrender

Lay it down and let it go

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away

You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held

Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place

I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held

Just be held, just be held

If your eyes are on the storm

You'll wonder if I love you still

But if your eyes are on the cross

You'll know I always have and I always will

And not a tear is wasted

In time, you'll understand

I'm painting beauty with the ashes

Your life is in My hands

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away

You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held

Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place

I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held

Just be held, just be held

Lift your hands, lift your eyes

In the storm is where you'll find Me

And where you are, I'll hold your heart

I'll hold your heart

Come to Me, find your rest

In the arms of the God who won't let go

So when you're on your knees and answers seem so far away

You're not alone, stop holding on and just be held

Your world's not falling apart, it's falling into place

I'm on the throne, stop holding on and just be held

(Stop holding on and just be held)

Just be held, just be held

Just be held, just be held

     It's times like today when I was weary and at the end of my rope that I needed to be reminded that God is there and "underneath are the everlasting arms."  He calls me to "Come unto Me all you who labor and are heavy-laden and I will give you rest.  Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light." Matthew 11:28-30  In the midst of the chaos of life it can be so easy to forget these truths.  I can go into automatic mode and "fixer" mode and run myself ragged trying to help everyone and be strong for family and friends until I break.  Then God brings me to the end of myself and reminds me that I cannot do anything on my own apart from Him or others--we are not designed to function in isolation, but to be in relationship--first and foremost with God through Jesus Christ--and secondly with all those He places in our lives.  Relationships make up life and when we lose people we love or people around us lose people they love our heart aches...aches for a Day when there will be no more pain or sorrow or suffering.  Where death will be swallowed up in victory finally and forever!  My heart cries out for Jesus to come quickly, yet knowing that His plans will prevail and He still has me on this earth for a plan and a purpose.  I feel my purpose right now is to honor those loved ones that were lost this week.  

     Tonight I'll share about my PCD pal Jorgen Ekstrom.  He was from Sweden (the O's in his name have two little dots above them but I don't know how to type those!) and in his 50's.  We never met in person, but in the age of social media and through our PCD facebook page we got to know each other quite well.  Like me, he also loved the outdoors, animals, and he loved to write.  His excitement was infectious....he always joked about "This is the silly swede again" as he wrote stories about two turtles named Colin and Cecelia that he created after another fellow PCD Pal coined the phrase "Turtle Days" for those days when PCD hits us hard and we simply crash and have to move slow.  The last picture he commented on that I shared was of Hunter trying out my vest because "he wanted to shake like Aunt Shel".  Jorgen thought it was so funny.

  He read a large part of my blog and my poetry and left encouraging comments on a number of posts.  Those comments will be forever treasured now.  On my post about Buddy and Me he wrote: "OHHHHHH!  Even though we always had dogs.  I sailed a lot.  I almost started to cry--reading this.  I truly understand that I have missed something!  You and Buddy at full speed or just lying on his back looking at the stars.  So blessed!"  After this, we talked about animals and he shared a story of how he used to swim in the sea with harbor seals:  "Good Morning America - again...I had a relative good period in my life - between 25 and 29 years. And I used to take our motorboat out. Then out to the harbor seals - colonies. Jump into the sea and swim around and with these so cute guys. Especially the "pups" wondered what "crazy" creature I was. Dressed head to toe in a wetsuit - I could be in the saltwater for hours that we have here on the Westcoast. Which of course was could for my heatlth!

To be one yard from a pups beautiful and curious eyes. Boy! I was so so so HAPPY! and amazed. Their eyes - so fabulous. Those were magic days.  I wish everybody in this beautiful group a wonderful - Wednesday. GOD BLESS YOU ALL!  Warm Greetings From - Gothenburg - Sweden."

The picture he had with the above story...so cute!    

     I think it's fitting to close with one of his stories about Colin and Cecelia--the turtles that he brought to life and whose stories brought smiles to all of us in the group.  The hard part about knowing someone only through social media is that they are just suddenly gone--no more posts or messages or interaction and no real closure.  His memory will live on through all of us as we share stories of how he encouraged us and most of all made us laugh when life with PCD was hard.  

    Hello again America! I hope you all feel as good as you can. I have had a very though day. But managed to get out anyway. Winter approaches here in Sweden. It´s 40 F and soon below 32 during the night. Dark and cold all the time. The sun will almost never go up. And everyone gets a cold. Not a good place for us swedish PCDers. When I was young I loved to ski in the winter. But now winter is just very annoying!

But now my day with Colin and Cecilia.

This morning Colin snuggled up into my bed and said to me:" Jörgen I want to go to the playground today. And go down the slide!" He absolutely loves it! The first time I told him that he might hurt himself. But he persisted! He laughed so wonderful as a child. And I had to pick him up again and again! "One more time." he said all the time.

I think he wanted to impress Cecilia today. For it is a steep slide. And then I heard Cecilia say:" Jörgen it is time to go and weigh yourself. And can you imagine I had lost 4! more pounds. (True). Cecilia was very happy and smiled sweetly to me and said:" You are really good and I am proud of you!" I lifted her up and gave her a kiss right on her cute nose!

So an hour later we were ready. It´s only a 100 yards to the playground. Colin looked at his beloved Cecilia and said:" Look, now you shall see how bold I am sweetheart." I lifted him up and put him at the top of the slide and gave little nudge. It does not makes sense when a turtle goes down a slide. It looks like a small saucer going down uncontrollably. Colin went down like a rocket and flew up in the air and landed in the soft sand on his back. 
I quickly went and turned him right - stomach down. Colin then looked at Cecilia and said:" Do you dare to ride with me, Cecilia?" He did not think she would dare. You don´t know you´re future wife I thought. She simply replied:" Sure Colin - let´s rock n roll!" He looked surprised. So I lifted them both up at the top of the slide. They looked so cute - side by side. I just hoped they would not land on each other. I gave them a little push. And down they went screaming of happiness all the way. This time they both landed on their stomachs. Cecilia laughed loudly and said:" Come on darling, let´s go down again!"

Well after 30 times I looked at them and said:" Sorry you two lovebirds. I cannot lift you up anymore. I am tired and hungry. Let´s go home. They looked at each other and nodded. Cecilia said:" Thank you Jörgen. I have had so much fun. You will get a really nice lunch. You deserve it."

I smiled happily at them both. And we went home. And I did get a very good lunch. That´s all for today dear readers. It´s 1:12 AM! Time to sleep!
So good night America. God bless everyone in this group and your loved ones. Thank you for existing(that sounds better in swedish smile emoticon What I mean is without you my life would be much harder. So thank you all from the bottom of my heart! Blessings from the Silly&Crazy Swedish Member - Jörgen.

     We love and miss you Jorgen!  

Resting in His Everlasting Arms,

Rachelle 

Some of Life's Greatest Joys

     This week has been a really good week.   I got to spend time with my sister and Hunter and help her plan her baby shower.  God has really helped my heart...the last several months I withdrew from her and my other friends that have kids, letting discontentment and the unfulfilled desire for children devour my hope and joy in Christ.  Infertility is the hardest part of PCD for me.  It's been a long 9 year journey and God is not done moulding me yet.  Every time I think I have this area conquered, someone says just the right thing, and I burst into tears, revealing that my heart has once again placed the desire for children above Christ, creating an idol in my heart.  Or it manifests in different ways and I don't recognize it right away and then its like it sneaks up on me.  Sin is so deceitful!  As I've intentionally re-engaged with friends and family with little ones over the last several weeks, those little ones have brought me so much joy!  When my friend Jenn and I were waking up her two year old son, Landon, from his nap, we opened his door and he got up from his bed and got this super excited smile and ran to me arms wide open and leapt into my arms and gave me the biggest hug ever.  It was so precious and sweet to see how excited he was to see Auntie Shel.  :)  Hunter is talking more and more and it's always, "Shel play!".  These memories are so sweet and I'm so excited to meet my newest nephew who is scheduled to be here February 3rd (unless he decides to come sooner...he's already giving Momma contractions.)

     It's been really sweet the last few weeks spending extra time with my sister.  I was living in Montana during this part of her pregnancy with Hunter and in Psychosis the first part of it so I didn't get to enjoy Hunter's pregnancy like I've gotten to enjoy Gunner's.  Over Christmas he was kicking like crazy and I got these really sweet pictures:

     It's so sweet to feel him moving around.  I also got to go to one of her ultrasounds and he was showing some personality and holding his foot up by his ear.  Such a sweet picture of new life!  I'm excited to be here for the birth and see him brand new as I didn't get to meet Hunter until he was 6 months old.  Thanks sister, for sharing your joy with me in a way that no one else can! 

     As she has approached the 8 month mark, I've been trying to hang out with her more and let her rest while I entertain Hunter, the rambunctious 2 year old that tells everyone he is 5.  We went for a ride on Buddy the other day and I got this precious video:

I'm so grateful to be blessed beyond measure with so many wonderful gifts from our gracious God!  Hunter was able to hold the reins the entire ride and I used my legs to guide Buddy...he will be 22 and I will be 32 this spring.  Crazy to remember back to bounding off the school bus to see the horse Mom and Dad brought home for me when I was 13.  Words cannot even begin to describe how grateful I am for Buddy (or Busted as my Dad will tell you....that debate will go on forever!).  He is definitely one of God's greatest gifts to me.

    Crash and Roxy are doing well.  I've started walking them more and they like to snuggle up while I do treatments and devotions in the mornings.  It's amazing how they know it's treatment time and even if I get up to get water or something they patiently lay on the couch waiting for me until the vest stops for the last time.  As soon as I unbuckle that vest, the game is on and they want attention.  :)

    Jordan is loving his job and he continues to be an incredible blessing to me.  We celebrated our 11th anniversary in December and our relationship continues to grow deeper and stronger through Christ.  The fiery trials truly do refine you and make you remember what truly matters--I'm so thankful to God for sending me the perfect husband for me and that I get to do life with him everyday.  

 Joyfully His,
Rachelle :) 

Dates You Will Never Forget

     Yesterday was a mixture of up and down emotions.  The morning started out with an inquiry about our house...we are preparing to sell to be closer to family, friends, and church for the times when I do get sick so it's easier for others to come alongside of us.  I've watched Mom and Dad T. sell two houses and it is A. LOT. OF. WORK.  We've been praying that God would sell it in His timing and give us wisdom on where He wants us and that we would be content with His plan and not get too set on our own plans because often our plans and His don't look the same.  We met with a long time family friend who is a realtor and made the long list of things that need to be done before we can list it.  I didn't "seriously" pray that God would sell it before we listed it, but it was kind of one of those prayers that's a desire and you REALLY hope it happens, but with the market and the type of house we have etc et al I have been preparing my heart to be on the market for months, that way if it sells sooner, it will be great, but I wouldn't be surprised or disappointed if it didn't sell right away.  A couple of days ago there was snow on the mountains and the light was shining just right and I got these awesome photos:

     I shared them on facebook and said that "I'm soaking in this view as we prepare to sell our house."  I know it will be so much easier to be connected and be closer to friends and family and church but I will miss this view so much.  Well, that post generated an inquiry about the house from someone I met in the neighborhood walking over the summer.  Just the thought that someone is interested before we have even organized and decluttered and rearranged furniture and spent money to do little things to help it show better is incredibly encouraging.  I was in Psalms during my devotions after that and texted these verses to some friends:

"May all who see You rejoice and be glad in You!  May those who love Your salvation say evermore, 'God is great!'  But I am poor and needy; hasten to help me, O God!  You are my help and my deliverer; O Lord, do not delay!" ~Psalm 70:4-5~

I was so excited and praising God that there is the opportunity to potentially sell the house before it even goes on the market.  It would be so like God to do that...and talk about confirmation that we are doing His will!  I texted our realtor and didn't hear back...she then texted and said that she had a serious family emergency.  I called my Mom as they were college roommates and found out her brother had a brain aneurysm last night and he was on a ventilator and not expected to live.  She suddenly lost her sister just over a year ago.  My heart breaks for her and her family.  Shortly after learning that information, a lady Jordan worked with in Phoenix posted on facebook that her niece was in an accident the same night and has a traumatic brain injury and is in ICU and was asking for prayers.  It's the same injury my brother had from his motorcycle accident back in 2006.  Then facebook had memories for me to look back on and it's me asking for prayer for Jordan from when he had his heart attack on January 7th in 2012.  Apparently January 7th is not the best date!  Then I was talking with some other friends and both of their brothers are struggling severely...

      These circumstances have been a reminder of our mixed condition here on this earth.  I am saved through Jesus' death on the cross and thereby freed from the power and penalty of sin, but until I leave this earth I am still in the presence of sin and all its awful, sorrowful consequences.  I long for heaven where I will be finally and forever freed from the presence of sin and where there will be no more sorrow or suffering or pain or any of the horrible things that we have to deal with here on this earth because of sin.  However, in spite of sin, there is much joy to be had here on earth as well.  God calls believers to be the salt and light of the earth and He graciously gives us sweet foretastes of heavens unending delights.  My prayer is that I will steward the time God has given me wisely, loving all those around me with His love, and enjoying every minute with loved ones because tomorrow is promised to no one.  However, because of Jesus, we can know that if our loved ones know Him, it's not "good bye" but "see you later".  

     Suffering is all around us and God uses it to drive us to Himself.  Joni Earekson Tada wrote me a letter last year and reminded me that "our disabilities are like a sheepdog, snapping at our heels, driving us down the road to Calvary where, otherwise, we might not naturally go."  I believe the same can be said of suffering.  It's not easy and its never fun, but we can rest assured that not one nanosecond of our suffering is wasted and God is using it to form us and shape us into the person that He wants us to be.  

     Please be praying for my friends and family and their families and that Jord and I could be salt and light and extend Christ's great love to them in their dark moments and that God would get all the glory for these difficult times. 

In His Mighty Grip,

Rachelle 

One of life's greatest joys...riding my beloved horse Buddy with my sweet nephew Hunter in God's magnificent creation.