1) Take Cipro (a Fluroquinolone and sister drug to Levaquin, that spun me up) at home as it's an oral antibiotic and have a plan in place to up my sleep meds if needed. (Super scary option in my brain! I was an emotional basket case just thinking about this option!)
2) Take one of three IV antibiotics that I knew I WOULD react to, but it's "only" itching from the inside out but I can be desensitized (basically you trick your body into thinking your not allergic to it) in the ICU and then hospitalized for the remainder of the course, so that would be 14+ days in the hospital. I preferred this option--majorly.
My doctor patiently explained her overarching reason for trying Cipro--a powerful drug that would enable me to stay home and I *might* have a reaction versus going through the desensitization process which gets more dangerous every time you do it....one of my PCD friends actually just had the process backfire on her and she went septic and almost died two weeks ago. I told my doc that I WANTED to trust her--to which she replied, "I don't expect you to trust me--that's something I have to earn and we are going to walk through this together." She's an incredible doc who cares deeply about her patients--I've only seen her 3 times now, but she is compassionate and REALLY listens, but also passionate about the treatment option she thinks will be best, but ultimately leaves the decision up to you as "you are a rational thinking adult, and it's your choice." Wow! She has been who I have been praying for--and the best part of it all--she's a BELIEVER!!!!! We agreed that I would go home and talk to Jordan and call her with our decision in the morning.
I was so against taking Cipro that I had packed my bags and was ready to be admitted for desensitization and a 14 day stay. I got home and Jord and I had a LONG conversation about the pros and cons of both and about my fears and anxiety surrounding Cipro. He helped me rationally look at the situation--we DON'T know if it would cause the same reaction and why not try something that would enable me to stay home? We called my Psychiatrist and got his instructions for how to up my sleep meds if we noticed any changes, called the lung doc the next morning with the green light, then my sister picked me up and took me to see my horse (priorities!), get my prescription, and then dropped me off at my dear friend, Shirley's house. She is one of my closest friends and has been a nurse for many years so I felt so much comfort and assurance with taking the first dose and then hanging out with her.
 |
| Buddy always makes me smile, no matter how crummy I'm feeling! |
 |
| I put Hunter up on him, and he laid down on him just like I used to do when I first got him. <3 |
 |
| Cheese! |
 |
| Buddy is such an incredible horse!!! |
And guess what?? So far, so good. I have taken 2 doses and got plenty of sleep last night! Yesterday morning, God "bombarded" me with "do not fear" messages from different sources. My Joni Earekson Tada daily devotional title was "Fearlessness". Another friend shared a testimony on facebook of a friend of hers that was miraculously cured of cancer, but in the beginning of the video she shared how afraid she was and how many times the Bible tells us to not fear. (Which reminded me of the movie, Facing the Giants, and what one coach tells another about the Bible telling us "Do not be afraid" over 365 times--once for every day of the year!) Then, Jord's grandma sent me a video message on facebook and the link to a MacArthur sermon on a "Conquering and Courageous Faith". That was LOUD and CLEAR God! I had a choice--was I going to obey, stepping out in faith, trusting God, my husband, and the doctors He has placed around me to fight this infection, or was I going to sin and choose fear and be irrational? It's a LOT easier said than done--going to bed last night was hard as that was when the initial reaction with my second time of taking Levaquin happened so it took me a bit to fall asleep, but once I did I slept pretty soundly. I had worship music playing all night, so anytime I did wake up, I was reassured with God's promises and was able to go right back to sleep. This morning, I am SO grateful that I followed the Spirit's leading and not my own fears because I am at HOME with my hubby and puppies and have a viable treatment option. Yes--there are still risks--the medication could build up and there are some other serious side effects to watch for, but ultimately, my trust is in God, who made heaven and earth and KNOWS every single cell in my body and exactly what I need, when I need it. So...the moral of the story is, never say never...especially because God will more than likely take you to that "never" place and stretch you far beyond the end of yourself so that you learn to depend on HIM and not on yourself, as Paul was reminded in 2 Corinthians 1:
"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in ANY affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God. For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ. But if we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; or if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which is effective in the patient enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer; and our hope for you is firmly grounded, knowing that as you are sharers of our sufferings, so also you are sharers of our comfort. For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we DESPAIRED EVEN OF LIFE; INDEED WE HAD THE SENTENCE OF DEATH WITHIN OURSELVES SO THAT WE WOULD NOT TRUST IN OURSELVES, BUT IN GOD WHO RAISES THE DEAD; who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on who we have set our HOPE.
2 Corinthians 1:3-10
So, next time you think, "never", just remember, that may be EXACTLY where God takes you! Thank you to all of you who have been and will continue to pray for us--and show us so much love and care and support in the midst of difficult days. I see the ENT that will be doing my surgery on Tuesday to get more info on that, so I will keep you all posted. Have a great weekend!
In His Mighty Grip,
Rachelle :)
No comments:
Post a Comment