I caught a virus/cold thing that I started coming down with yesterday. I have been pushing my limits physically for the last couple of months as I've enjoyed better health or at least a "calm in the storm" with just my typical day to day pains that I have learned to ignore, which can be good and bad. I have been getting to know new friends and overbooking myself, which is a pattern in my life that I have tried to conquer, but can be so difficult to have to say no to things because of my limited energy due to PCD and the other assorted things that physically affect me. Thankfully the Lord is gracious, as our my friends and family that are so understanding when I have to cancel because I've pushed too hard...again.
God always has a way of "making me lie down in green pastures" though, reminding me that I need to be more dependent on Him and be better at running my schedule by Jordan so he can protect me from myself. :)
I am pretty much established with all the doctors I need to be now, for a grand total of 7, with one or two more to possibly be added down the road as needed. I saw a Christian Neurologist today who I absolutely loved and he told me I was seeing the best Pulmonologist in town--praising God for leading me to the right doctors over and over again. The neurologist is also going to sign up for the PCDF newsletter so he can learn about it! I've never had a doctor do that on his own...so thankful! The great thing about a small town is that even if the doctors aren't in the same clinic, they all still know each other and will pick up the phone and call each other since I'm a "complicated, complex, hard case" in their words.
For an update with the meds I'm still on that helped bring me out of the psychosis, thankfully I am on half the dose I was 6 months ago, which is a huge praise. I tried to wean off a little more and stopped sleeping well, which, for obvious reasons, gave Jord a scare. After three nights and starting to "buzz" a little, we went back up on the higher dose and I'm going to stay there for now, especially since I have a trip to Arizona coming up that I don't want to miss! I will finally get to meet my nephew, Hunter Ray Campbell, for the first time! Something that has been difficult for my spiritual heart is that because the med I was trying to wean off of is known for causing birth defects, the psychiatrist won't prescribe them unless we are using birth control. I think I'm content with where God has me then something like that comes up and hits me right between the eyes and sends me back to crying out to God for a miracle and wrestling with Him over my heart desires, what is wise with the state of my health, and ultimately, what is HIS will for my life in this area. A dear friend reminded me of Jesus' prayers in the garden of Gethsemene...He knew He was going to the cross, but He still prayed (with an attitude of submissiveness!) for the cup to pass, nevertheless, not His will but the Father's be done (Matt 26). It's funny because I have said those exact words to other people over the years, but its amazing how we can lose sight of things when we are struggling and faced with a challenge. She also said something I had never thought about before...there are three ways to pray:
1) That God would change my heart's desire to match His will
2) That He would grant me my heart's desire
3) That if the desires are not taken away that I would walk in obedience to His will.
I had never thought about praying the third way before, but it was extremely helpful in shepherding my heart. Jord and I are meeting with our Pastor as well to get his help and insight as we continue to walk a challenging road, but a road that God has called us to walk down. In the midst of all of the challenges, there is much to be thankful for.
First and foremost, our salvation in Jesus, for which I have my hope and the promise of a heavenly body that will work perfectly for all of eternity as I praise and worship my Lord with my fellow brothers and sisters in Christ. Secondly, for the amazing husband God has given me in Jordan. He is such a priceless gift from above and continues to love, support, and treasure me in a way that boggles my mind when I think about all the times he has stuck by my side when many other men would have walked away. Be looking for a post on him soon and how I've been growing in praying for him more. :) Another thing to praise God for is how healthy I have been, even through the winter, here in Montana. I caught a couple colds, but none of them moved into my sinuses are lungs and I didn't need antibiotics which is huge. I'm praying the same thing holds true for this one. We are also a part of a wonderful church and I am making some very sweet, godly friendships with women that encourage and exhort me, for which I am very thankful. I am also incredibly grateful for our Pastor, Joe Young, who preaches the truth from the Word of God in season and out of season, and is a very tender shepherd of the flock God has called him to be over. I'm also thankful for the kiddos I get to love on, especially the Jolly kiddos. The Jolly's have adopted us into their family and love us like their own and their kids are always excited to see me and love on me, which helps heal that grief that naturally comes with not being able to have our own children. I am so thankful that throughout our almost 10 years of marriage, there has always been a family with young kids that I have been able to pour into and love on like my own and watch them grow, some now into adulthood! Those relationships are precious, wonderful gifts from my sweet Savior who knows exactly what I need when I need it.
Something I would love prayer for is that I have been having joint pain, especially in my hands--so much so that it wakes me up at night and I can barely move them in the morning they are so stiff and hurt so bad. In seeing my PCP this morning, he is doing a workup for Rheumatoid Arhtritis and other things. First and foremost, pray that I would capture those thoughts that lead to vain speculations. Secondly, that we would have an answer soon and that God would grant Jord and I wisdom in choosing treatment options, if there are any.
Another thing I would appreciate prayer for is that I would be better about exercising and eating healthier. It can be so easy to let these good habits fall by the wayside in my race to do all the fun stuff, but exercise and nutrition are even more critical for my health than your average person. However, I also don't want to go overboard and have that be all I'm thinking about. A new friend had a great way of putting it...she was seeing a Christian Naturopath and she told her that it is critical for her to eat healthy and stick to her strict diet most of the time, but that there are times when fellowship is more important and for those meals, we can simply enjoy them, and pray for grace for the side effects. I love that philosophy because we can become so focused on what we can and cannot eat that we forget to enjoy the food God has provided for us and the people that we share those meals with.
I think that about covers all that's going on health wise right now. Jord is maintaining his health pretty well, although, like everyone else, we can always exercise more and eat healthier. ;) We did hit a deer the other night in our Tahoe--praising God for His protection--if we had been in our car it would have come through the windshield right into my lap. However, because our Tahoe is older, it is likely going to be totaled so we are in the process of finding out everything now and praying for the right vehicle...we TRIED to keep a vehicle for longer than six months...we really did!!! :) Thankful we know Jesus and that He is sovereign over everything and has a plan and a purpose in all of life.
In the Love of the Lamb,
Rachelle
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| Where I have been yesterday and today aside from my doc appointments...in bed watching 19 kids and counting! |
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