As I sit down to write an update, I'm pretty tired out--but from a very good thing this week. Our dear friends, Jenn and Jeremy, got to officially adopt their littlest guy, Asher! It was so fun to be able to be at the court hearing--funny side note--as Jenn and Jeremy are sitting there with three boys 3 and under on their laps all dressed up in cute little suits, one of the questions they were asked was, "Jennifer, do you know what it takes to be a parent?" That got a lot of laughs--she's right in the middle of it! Days are exhausting and hard, but fun and good all at the same time....at least from what I have observed. Usually when you've hit that point where you question what in the world you are doing trying to parent, your little one comes up and gives you a giant hug and kiss or something of the sort or says the cutest thing.
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Landon, Jeremy, Jenn, and Asher
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As you can imagine, Mother's Day can be a hard day for me. I try to prepare my heart every year, but something usually always catches me "off guard" or the emotions just come and I end up in tears. As the years have gone on, it has gotten easier in some ways, especially getting to love on so many sweet nephews and nieces. Before church, I felt the tears were really close, so I was praying a lot and managed not to break down during greeting time and then the sermon was absolutely perfect for me. It was on Proverbs 1 and about how "the fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom." I KNOW in my head and my heart that God's best is for us to not have children right now--otherwise, we would have them. On days like today when I wake up and have a tiny burst of energy and spend the rest of the day exhausted, I'm reminded of those truths and very content with the path God has for us. However, there is still a grief and a loss and likely always will be until Jesus comes back or takes me home. I was completely at peace at the end of the sermon and thought, "Ok, I made it--not gonna cry." Well--they had the kids bring all the Mom's roses at the end of service and Jenn had Landon bring me one...the tears just came. He came right to me and I held him while we finished the last song, tears streaming down my cheek and Landon saying as they were praying, "All done? All done? All done?" :)
She had also gotten me a dress and a card and had Landon sign all the kiddos names and wrote a sweet note thanking me for being a second Mom to her kiddos. It meant the world to me and I'm so grateful for Jenn and her friendship!
All this life stuff has been happening simultaneously with a million phone calls to and from the pulmonary clinic trying to get an appointment before my sinus surgery which was rescheduled and then ultimately canceled because I couldn't get into pulmonary in time. We have a trip planned over the 4th of July and my pulmonary appointment is not until May 27th, which doesn't leave enough time to get a plan together, a surgery date, and then heal enough in time for the trip, so the plan now is to see pulmonary, figure that all out, and then schedule surgery after our trip in July. I am still having my port placed next Tuesday at 11:00am--they don't have to put you completely under for that so it's not as hard on your lungs so I don't need a plan before that surgery. After my last port was placed, I was pretty sore everywhere for a week or two and then where the catheter went over my collar bone, I'd get a burning sensation and couldn't really stand up for a month for more than 15 minutes at a time without a lot of pain. I'm praying I can avoid that this time, but we'll see what happens.
It's always interesting trying to balance living life and getting the rest, my treatments in (getting better about getting that 4th set in!) and other stuff that needs to happen for me. This week with the adoption, things kind of snuck up on me--I ran errands with Jenn on Tuesday, had the adoption and after party Wednesday, then two doctor's appointments yesterday, so today is a turtle day. I did manage to cook dinner (yay for the little things!) and wanted to update everyone but now I think it's audiobook time--or a movie. Not sure how turtle-ish my brain is feeling tonight. :) Thank you for your prayers!!! Hope you all have a great weekend!
Resting in His Everlasting Arms,
Rachelle :)
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