Reflections on 2015 and Looking Forward to 2016

     I know it's been awhile since I've written, but the end of a year and the beginning of a new year always has me in that "musing/reflecting/need to write/journal" mode, so here I am once again saying hello to all of you.  Since I've last written at the end of June time has marched on as it always does and honestly, they've been some hard months mentally and spiritually.  People that know me best always know when I'm struggling with depression when I'm not writing, not very talkative, and not doing much and have to force myself to get out of bed in the mornings.  Living with PCD, it can be hard to strike a balance.  Last year about this time, we were living with our friends Tom and Candy and I started to get up earlier and back to my more "normal" self, but then in February I caught the cold that started the downswing and ended up with me in the hospital at the end of March and all the complications that came with it.  Since the end of June and finally getting over that last bad flare up, I've been stable, but I've also regularly been getting 10-13 hours of sleep and because I have been struggling with the depression, I haven't been running around and pushing my body to the limits and beyond.  Ideally, there should be a balance somewhere in between the two "extremes" but one of my biggest challenges is to know when to push (and have the energy and mental and spiritual strength to "do the next thing" even if I don't "feel" like it) and when I really need to rest and have what has been coined by a fellow PCD'er as a "Turtle day".  So for those of you who pray for me, as we move into 2016, that would be one of my prayer requests--that God would give me the grace for each day to know what HE wants me to do--what is worth pushing through and when I really need to rest--and to lean on my hubby's wisdom as I plan my days out.

     Reflecting on 2015, I would say overall it was a challenging year--physically, mentally, and spiritually.  I'm thankful I know nothing is outside of God's sovereign control and that each valley is meant to draw us closer to Him.  As I look forward to 2016, I'm encouraged that God seems to be working in my heart and lifting that cloud of depression I've been struggling with the last 5 months.  I'm excited to see what He has for us in 2016 as we seek to start out the New Year striving to walk in obedience to Him in all things.  I know we will fail--after all "all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God" (Romans 3:23) BUT "God demonstrates His own love towards us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us." (Romans 5:8)  I can strive to obey Christ in all things, knowing that God is at work in my heart and though I will battle my sin in this wretched flesh One Day He will come back or take me home to be with Him where I will forever be free from the presence of sin.  Friends, this is the rock solid truth we MUST cling to if we are to have hope in 2016 of any change at all.  God promises to "work all things together for good to those who love Christ, to be conformed to the image of His son" (Romans 8:28-29) and we can trust that "He will complete the work He began in you." (Philippians 1:6)  For those of us who trust Jesus as our Savior, we can confidently set goals for 2016, expecting God to help us, but at the same time, we must remember to hold OUR plans loosely for "Many are the plans in a mans heart, but the Lord directs his steps" (Proverbs 16:9).  Looking back on 2015, it doesn't really look anything like I thought it would at the end of 2014, but none of the twists and turns and surprises that caught ME off guard, caught God off guard.  We can only hope for what we think our days may look like in the coming year and take steps to try and bring our plans to fruition, but God KNOWS what 2016 will look like for you and for me.  I don't know about you, but that brings me great comfort knowing that no matter what happens, God promises to use everything to not only draw us closer to Himself but to make us more like Himself.  As Mom T. always says, "Pray and go".  We can pray, make plans, and step out in faith, trusting our awesome God to direct our steps and hold us close, especially in the valleys.  

I pray you all grow closer to Jesus in the coming year!  And Lord willing, I will be striving to write more once again.  ;) 

In the Love of the Lamb,

Rachelle :)