The Hidden Person of the Heart

I wrote this poem while contemplating my conversion and how God knows our hearts far better than even we do.  Even as believers we often deceive ourselves into thinking we can hide our sin from God but I think of Psalm 139:7-12: "Where shall I go from Your Spirit? Or where shall I flee from Your presence? If I ascend to heaven You are there!  If I make my bed in Sheol, You are there! If I take the wings of the morning and dwell in the uttermost parts of the sea, even there Your hand shall lead me, and Your right hand shall hold me.  If I say, 'Surely the darkness shall cover me, and the light about me be night,' even the darkness is not dark to You; the night is bright as the day, for darkness is as light with You." 

     God is omnipresent but so often we forget that as we wallow in ourselves.  God has really done a work in my heart over the last two months.  I am beginning to feel at home here in Montana and I have had some great times in His Word and with His people at Emmanuel Bible Church.  Jord's work hours are still crazier than ever, but God is growing both of us and it's neat to see how He is working in the midst of our circumstances.  I have more to share, but that's for the next blog post.  :)  Here is the poem:

Hidden Person of the Heart

Our hearts hidden under lock and key,

No, surely no one will ever see the real me,

For if they did, what would they say?

'Cause I am living always, only, all for me.

On the surface I place others first,

Joining in this race called life,

 Point A to point B with no time in between,

But deep down inside I am withering...

I attempt to stop and smell the roses,

But instead of drinking in their beauty,

My focus narrows on those thorns,

Drinking, drinking, but always I thirst...

Then one day as my world comes crashing down,

I am that broken cistern left to dry,

And yet there is a burgeoning feeling deep within,

As if SomeOne found the key...

No, no, it cannot be,

For if He sees me as I am,

Surely I will be forever lost,

But alas, He reminds me to count the cost,

And shows me He paid my debt for all eternity,

For now I will always be free...

Free to live for Him,

Free to love for Him,

Free to serve and worship Him,

But O how I sin!

That frozen ole heart of mine,

Continues to want to serve myself,

And place others last,

And yes, time continues sailing by,

O so fast.

Will I ever become like You?

Will I ever be done with sin?

Will my heart ever live always, only, all for Him?

And then comes that still small voice,

"My child, My beloved one, I see you as I am."

What grace unimaginable that has set me free,

What glorious days await for eternity!

Forever His,

Rachelle :)