Faith on Trial

      Hey everyone!  I just got back from a whirlwind trip back home to meet my newest nephew, Rhett, and to go to my cousin, Braelyn's, wedding.  While there I also got to see 9 of my closest Christian friends all gathered in the same place at Jenn's house--it was a sweet time of fellowship and makes me look forward to That Day all the more!  At one point as we were sitting around the dinner table, it quieted down, and Hilarie just said, "Isn't God's faithfulness amazing?"  Indeed it is! I had a wonderful time, although it was quick, and goodbye's were bittersweet as I was excited to get back to my new home and life here in Alabama--especially to my hubby and puppies.  

      The day before I left, I scheduled a surgery for a partial hysterectomy--everything but my ovaries, so that I don't go into full on menopause.  For years I've been treated for assumed endometriosis and have been diagnosed with PCOS and then un-diagnosed with PCOS.  Needless to say, I have a LOT of female issues and have horrible, painful periods every month and nausea a lot of the time.  Although this surgery will come with a hard physical recovery for me as I'll have to balance between pain management, allowing my body to heal, and the need to do my chest percussion therapy to clear out my lungs--especially after surgery--it comes even more so with a lot of difficult and challenging emotions to walk through.  I've said many times that the infertility piece to PCD has hands down been the hardest part of the journey for me.  It's been the trial that I have wrestled with God through many times and think "Ok, I'm doing good--I'm content with never having children" and then "Wham!"--there come those sneaky emotions bubbling up to surprise you.  Thankfully there has been MUCH growth and sanctification over the last 15 years and I am much further along in my journey now than when I first started to really realize that not only would my dream of conceiving my own children likely not happen, but adoption likely wasn't an option for us either, due to the severity of my health issues.  All throughout the journey, God has been constant and faithful--He has heard my cries and comforted my heart--very often through many of you.  As Joni Eareckson Tada says, "I'd rather be in this wheelchair knowing Christ than walking around not knowing Him."--I change it to, "I'd rather know Jesus and not have kids than have kids and not know Jesus."  My Savior is THAT precious--as much as it hurts and can be difficult, there is also much grace and encouragement and there are many good things I'm able to do that I wouldn't be able to do if we had our own children.

     I've got a lot more to say and will write more later, but wanted to get this out there so y'all could be praying for Jord and I as we take this next step in the journey God has placed before us.  The surgery is scheduled for May 10th and will come with at least one overnight stay at a local hospital here in Huntsville.  Thank you once more for all the prayers, love, and support--Jord and I definitely cannot do this alone--so thankful for all those at Grace Community who are ready and waiting to serve us and walk alongside us--we truly are so blessed.  Here are a few of the many pictures I took from my trip! Enjoy!