My Savior's Comfort on Mother's Day

     Mother's Day can often bring many emotions bubbling to the surface--not just for me and others who struggle with infertility, but there are so many painful circumstances in this life with broken relationships that doesn't mesh with the "HallMark Mother's Day" experience.  Life in the real world is riddled with sin and all its consequences.  Even in the best of circumstances, Mothering is just plain hard and those expectations you have of your husband giving you the break our culture tells you that you deserve on this day of all days, may come tumbling down.  In reality, there is no day that Mom's aren't on duty--the baby only wants Mom, and the little hands clamor for you even if Daddy is there and ready and willing to help.  Long story short, this day can bring emotions that run the gamut.  For me, it snuck up on me this year, but in light of me preparing to have a hysterectomy on Tuesday, the combination definitely hit hard. 

     On my trip home, my friends encouraged and challenged me to allow myself to grieve and mourn and cry--reminded me that it's ok to do that.  So, instead of distracting myself by overdoing it and keeping busy so I didn't have time to think about things like I was doing prior to my trip, I slowed down and purposely journaled and prayed and sat in my backyard and watched the birds and played with the dogs and really just put my heart and feelings before the Lord.  And He met me--and continues to strengthen, encourage, and sustain me and give me His peace that truly transcends all understanding moment by moment.  Last night as I was video chatting with my best friend, Jenn, and playing Mario Kart on the switch online with Landon, Mason, Asher, and Lily, I told her I thought today would be a little harder as for many years we have been in church together and every Mother's Day she would always have the kids give me something special.  While I have the beginnings of many wonderful relationships and new kiddos to love on here, it takes time for kids to get to know you.  But my God reminded me in MANY ways that HE is the One who comforts through His people and met me in so many ways today.  I awoke to a text from a friend who also walked the infertility journey here and said that she was praying for me and lying in bed weeping for me and then brought verses to bear, and then said, "Happy Mother's Day to a woman who has the heart of a mother and lets it show to all of the children God brings your way!" A few tears were shed but joy flooded my heart as I was reminded that my God knows my heart and my needs and supplies it every step of the way!  

     Throughout the morning I received more texts from old friends and new and then special hugs at church and people asking how I was doing and wanting to know if today was hard--and then they listened and I know they love me and they share their kiddos with me and they are all ready and lined up to pour out Christ's love to me starting with meals tomorrow and anything else we might need over the coming weeks.  Then worship started--out of all the songs our worship leader could have picked, he chose, "Psalm 130".  It's a Sovereign Grace worship song that we sang way back when we were at Sovereign Grace in 2007 when I was first starting my journey through infertility.  I can't tell you how many times I have sobbed to that song and tears just flooded my eyes as I worshipped my Savior.  I'm pretty sure in the year and a half we have been here in Huntsville we haven't sang that song at church yet.  My God knows my heart intimately and knew exactly what I needed.  Then the message: Romans 8:28-30 was our passage: "For we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.  For those whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, so that He would be the firstborn among many brethren; and these whom He predestined, He also called; and these whom He called, He also justified; and these whom He justified, He also glorified." The first point was, "Does God have purpose in your suffering?" The answer is a resounding yes!  The good is not that God is going to make my "bad" circumstances go away but that He will make me more like Jesus in the midst of the trials.  I HIGHLY recommend listening to this sermon, especially if you are hurting right now--it is SO encouraging! HERE is the LINK to listen--it's the whole service so I believe the song I was referencing is the second song, but HERE is the LINK to just the song if you want to listen to that.  

     So yes, today can be hard, but it can also be filled with much joy, given by my great Savior who loves me and knows my heart intimately and has provided SO many people in my life from family to friends who love me and whose kiddos are like my own.  I also called my Mom to wish her a Happy Mother's Day and she had Hunter, Gunner, and Ryker with her and without any prompting they all kept saying, "Happy Mother's Day Aunt Shel! Happy Mother's Day Aunt Shel." What grace poured out from my great God who, in His infinite wisdom and love, has ordained that I will not have children from my body, but He gives me Himself--Jesus bore the wrath of God on the cross so that I might have eternal life with Him for all eternity.  This body is HARD to live in, but there IS a Day coming when Jesus comes back or takes me home and I will breathe deep and free and have endless energy and more importantly, a heart that is free from sin that will worship my Savior perfectly--O what glorious Days those will be! Will you join me on this journey to heaven?  There is no promise that it will be easy, and often, it's the harder road, but O, my friends, while Jesus does not promise ease and comfort, He promises to be with you in the valleys and He will never leave you nor forsake you, and more importantly, He saves you from an eternity separated from God in hell.  Let today be the day of your salvation! Come quickly Lord Jesus! 

In His Mighty Grip,

Rachelle 

Faith on Trial

      Hey everyone!  I just got back from a whirlwind trip back home to meet my newest nephew, Rhett, and to go to my cousin, Braelyn's, wedding.  While there I also got to see 9 of my closest Christian friends all gathered in the same place at Jenn's house--it was a sweet time of fellowship and makes me look forward to That Day all the more!  At one point as we were sitting around the dinner table, it quieted down, and Hilarie just said, "Isn't God's faithfulness amazing?"  Indeed it is! I had a wonderful time, although it was quick, and goodbye's were bittersweet as I was excited to get back to my new home and life here in Alabama--especially to my hubby and puppies.  

      The day before I left, I scheduled a surgery for a partial hysterectomy--everything but my ovaries, so that I don't go into full on menopause.  For years I've been treated for assumed endometriosis and have been diagnosed with PCOS and then un-diagnosed with PCOS.  Needless to say, I have a LOT of female issues and have horrible, painful periods every month and nausea a lot of the time.  Although this surgery will come with a hard physical recovery for me as I'll have to balance between pain management, allowing my body to heal, and the need to do my chest percussion therapy to clear out my lungs--especially after surgery--it comes even more so with a lot of difficult and challenging emotions to walk through.  I've said many times that the infertility piece to PCD has hands down been the hardest part of the journey for me.  It's been the trial that I have wrestled with God through many times and think "Ok, I'm doing good--I'm content with never having children" and then "Wham!"--there come those sneaky emotions bubbling up to surprise you.  Thankfully there has been MUCH growth and sanctification over the last 15 years and I am much further along in my journey now than when I first started to really realize that not only would my dream of conceiving my own children likely not happen, but adoption likely wasn't an option for us either, due to the severity of my health issues.  All throughout the journey, God has been constant and faithful--He has heard my cries and comforted my heart--very often through many of you.  As Joni Eareckson Tada says, "I'd rather be in this wheelchair knowing Christ than walking around not knowing Him."--I change it to, "I'd rather know Jesus and not have kids than have kids and not know Jesus."  My Savior is THAT precious--as much as it hurts and can be difficult, there is also much grace and encouragement and there are many good things I'm able to do that I wouldn't be able to do if we had our own children.

     I've got a lot more to say and will write more later, but wanted to get this out there so y'all could be praying for Jord and I as we take this next step in the journey God has placed before us.  The surgery is scheduled for May 10th and will come with at least one overnight stay at a local hospital here in Huntsville.  Thank you once more for all the prayers, love, and support--Jord and I definitely cannot do this alone--so thankful for all those at Grace Community who are ready and waiting to serve us and walk alongside us--we truly are so blessed.  Here are a few of the many pictures I took from my trip! Enjoy!

  

    

Hope! It's in [the Creator of] our Genes!

      Today is National Rare Disease Day--The motto is "Hope! It's in our Genes" and you wear blue jeans in support of Rare Disease Day.  I decided to modify it a bit for me as my hope is in my God who created me just as He planned for my ultimate good and His ultimate glory.  It's always been kind of fun that Rare Disease Day is in February since it's my birthday month and blue jeans fit right in with my country girl heart.  My family jokes that the only good genes we have are the ones we are wearing.  

     This last year when we moved to Alabama and I started at the clinic they did a genetic panel on me.  They have discovered 50 different genes that cause PCD and can test for 40 of them.  My genetics came back with "two genes undetermined".  Dr. Solomon was like, "It's really interesting--you don't have classic PCD and hopefully as tests for the other 10 genes become available we can test for those."  So I'm rare within the rare.  I did a blog post awhile back called Rare to the Nth Degree where I gave Dad T. all the statistics and he calculated the probability of me being conceived--it was 3.3 in 100 quadrillion--3.3 with 14 zeroes behind it!  But God says in Psalm 139 that I am "fearfully and wonderfully made" and "He knit me together in my mother's womb."  As Joni says, He permitted me to be born with PCD to accomplish that which He loves--making me more like Christ.  It's definitely not an easy road, but it's the road God has chosen for me and He goes before me and I can trust that not a single nanosecond of my suffering is wasted--and five minutes in heaven will make up for all the suffering here on earth.  

     Yesterday in Sunday School, Ben taught on Psalm 73:25 "Whom have I in heaven but You and besides You, I desire nothing on earth."  When we have the right perspective and remember that our relationship with Jesus Christ is of infinitely more value than anything on this earth--we can lose everything in the blink of an eye like Job or thousands of other saints throughout history, but the One thing of most value we can cling to and know that we have Him in this life and more importantly in the life to come--for all eternity!  Once more, it was a very timely message as I await biopsy results today--I should get them today after 1.  Jord and I feel all the prayers and God has truly flooded my heart with His peace that transcends all human understanding!  

     We still have to live in this world though, and while my ultimate hope is in my Savior, raising awareness for the struggles that people with rare diseases face is obviously near and dear to my heart.  I'm going to keep it simple and "Share some rare" from my PCD friends--hope you learn something new and recognize that there's a LOT of people affected by rare diseases in this life.  As believers, may we grow in the grace of entering another's suffering to provide encouragement and hope in the midst of the reality of a lifetime of doctor's appointments, painful medical procedures, more questions than answers, one doctor's appointment that then yields multiple tests and other appointments, the exhaustion from trying to coordinate it all, the financial burden that has literally buried Jord and I at times, the high rate of divorce in couples with chronic illness (75%), and so much more.  Praise God, because Christ died on the cross for my sins (and yours!) and I have repented and trusted in Christ alone for my salvation, One Day all this sorrow and sighing and suffering will flee as I will be in the presence of my Savior and forever free from the presence of sin and all it's consequences! Come quickly Lord Jesus! 

For Rare Disease Day 2018 we asked the PCD (Primary Ciliary Dyskinesia) community, “What are your things NOT to say to a person with PCD?” here are our top ten picks.

- “If you're sick, you should stay home!", but then we’d never go out.

- “Well, at least it’s not CF.” (True, but minimizing the real long term medical effects and feelings of PCD is really obnoxious. I am happy my son doesn’t have CF, but it’s no cake walk having a child with PCD).

- "Do you want a cough drop?”

- “You should really see a doctor about that cough.”

- Lately the one that gets me is "When are you having kids?" Since most don't realize the miscarriages and complications related to PCD and pregnancies.

- We have one child with PCD. Someone told me we should have had more, in case, you know, something happens to her.

- My personal pet peeve: "You should cut out dairy. My kids got ear infections too until they cut out dairy."

- “Just go to (insert holistic Dr here) because your sons on too many antibiotics and needs to get off of them and his inhaler.”

- "Yeah I have that sinus stuff too. It’s bad. Just take a hot shower. That will help!” ugh

- “You should put her name on the transplant list now! Then when you need it, your name will be in there, at the top.” That’s not how the system works....nor is a transplant an easy cure-all, nor does everyone qualify for a transplant, etc.... https://pcdsmiles.com/.../21-things-not-to-say-to-a...

Happy Rare Disease Day 2022! Are you wearing your blue jeans today? “Hope it’s in my genes!

For more information on primary ciliary dyskinesia visit PCDsmiles.com link in the bio

#PrimaryCiliaryDyskinesia #PCDirl #rarediseaseday

Ittook

The Footprints of Jesus

  God has been so merciful and gracious to me during this week of waiting.  I prayed that I would not waste my waiting and He has answered that prayer and encouraged my heart every step of the way.  On New Year's Eve we had a family over from church to play board games and watch the Alabama game.  Travis and Laurie have 9 kids and Travis went to seminary with our current pastor, past pastor, and our community group leader at Master's in CA.  The Christian world can be so small!  Anyway, during the course of the day, Travis asked how we were doing as I was on IV antibiotics at home at the time.  He recommended a book, "The Cup and the Glory" by Greg Harris.  Greg is a professor of Bible Exposition at Master's Seminary and wrote the book after he and his wife lost identical twin girls.  I ordered it and took it to the hospital with me, but due to the side effects of medications, was unable to read more than a chapter at that point.  I'm one of those people that has 5 or more books going at once, so I had picked it up and put it down.  In God's providence, this week after I found out about needing the biopsy, I read the chapter entitled, "The Footprints" and he's drawing off of 1 Peter 2:21-25:

"For you have been called for this purpose, since Christ also suffered for you, leaving you an example for you to follow in His steps, who committed no sin, nor was any deceit found in His mouth; and while being reviled, He did not revile in return; while suffering, He uttered no threats, but kept entrusting Himself to Him who judges righteously; and He Himself bore our sins in His body on the cross, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness; for by His wounds you are healed. For you were continually straying like sheep, but now you have returned to the Shepherd and Guardian of your souls." 

  He continues on page 91, "But there is another point of consideration in First Peter 2:21 we need to explore.  We are follow upon 'His steps' or literally, 'in the footprints of Him.' In the plural the word means a line of footprints, such as when a hunter follows his game. 'Footprints' is a literal term, not a figurative one.  A difference exists between following in someone's footprints versus following in someone's footsteps.  'To follow in someone's footsteps,' means to emulate or aspire to some aspect of that person's life. 'Are you going to follow in your father's footsteps?' Literal footprints, however, give a different emphasis.  Not only are these 'footprints in general' but the footprints of Jesus.

  "...'Since Christ suffered [hyper] in your place;' suffered in the realm you would not because you could not.  'Leaving you'--present tense, not past tense; whatever He left is still there, it has not been removed--a hypogrammon example or sketch for you to follow in His footprints.  If His footprints remain behind, then He had to walk there first.  He had to lead the way.  He had to establish a trail that no one ever walked before, but now one that never needs establishing again.'"

  "A pertinent questions is, 'But where do the footprints of Jesus go?  If I follow them, where will they lead?'  Perhaps the first inclination would be to assume they go up to heaven and into God's presence.  But, this is not the immediate place they go.  The last footsteps Jesus took on this earth before His death were to His cross.  He was carried to the tomb and placed there.  He ascended to heaven--He did not walk.  The last steps of Jesus took in His pre-resurrection ministry were in walking as the sacrifice in our place, not only so that we would not have to walk there, but even more to the point because we could not.  In this case, we do not walk alongside Him--He walked there alone.  No one went with Him; nobody could.  He was abandoned, deserted forsaken, and betrayed for you and for me."

  "Another aspect of this passage is so childishly simple, we may overlook it.  You do not 'follow upon' footprints by standing still.  You must move forward.  This entails more than merely knowledge about Jesus; it is experiential knowledge gained in the walk itself.  Also, a difference remains between following the line of footprints to the end versus following merely a few steps. 'I'll go with you a little while, but if things don't work out as I planned, then you go on without me.'  Such an attitude became evident for the first time in John 6:66-69 where many would no longer walk with Jesus.  To Peter's credit, that answer he got right.  In response to Jesus' question if they, too, wanted to leave, Peter answered his most logical reply recorded in Scripture. 'Lord, to whom shall we go? You have the words of eternal life.'  And He still does." 

  "You will only walk upon the footprints of Jesus; you never out-walk them.  No matter where you are, or what you will go through, He will have walked an infinitely more intense road in your place.  You will still find His footprints ahead of your own."

  "But there are so many footprints and paths out there for people to follow.  How will I know which ones are His footprints?"

  "You will recognize the footprints of Jesus; they are the only ones left when all the others stop.  You will recognize His footprints; they are the ones stained with blood, as He heads for our cross.  You will recognize the foot-prints of Jesus; they are the ones that have your name written all over them."

     And that is just ONE time the Lord encouraged my heart with the perfectly timed truth.  I could tell you of so many "little" blessings this week that aren't so little when you are walking through deep waters.  Once more, providentially, our ladies Bible study group is going through the book, "Trusting God" by Jerry Bridges and last night we finished up chapter 12 on "Trusting God in Adversity."  On New Year's Eve, Travis also asked if I had studied 2 Corinthians in any depth.  I haven't but after he asked that question and said that the whole book is Paul walking through suffering, God keeps putting verses from that book before me.  Last night was no different--Sarah opened study by asking me to read 2 Corinthians 1:3-7

"Blessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our affliction so that we will be able to comfort those who are in any affliction with the comfort with which we ourselves are comforted by God.  For just as the sufferings of Christ are ours in abundance, so also our comfort is abundant through Christ.  But if we are afflicted, it is for your comfort and salvation; or if we are comforted, it is for your comfort, which is effective in the patient enduring of the same sufferings which we also suffer; and our hope for you is firmly grounded, knowing that as you are sharers of our sufferings, so also you are sharers of our comfort."

     So much comfort in that passage! And that's just the beginning!  2 Corinthians 4:16-18 talks about our outer man decaying and our light and momentary afflictions producing an eternal weight of glory beyond all comparison and then of course you have the famous passage of 2 Corinthians 12:7-10 where Paul pleads for the thorn in the flesh to be taken away from him three times but instead of taking him out of his painful circumstances, God increased the grace to persevere.  Joni says "the harder we lean into Jesus, the stronger we find Him to be."  I've been leaning hard this week and O my sweet Savior is so precious and strong and faithful and compassionate and merciful and awesome and mighty!!

     I was also greatly encouraged yesterday by the multitude of birthday posts on facebook, phone calls, and texts from people literally all over the world and country.  My pediatrician from when I was 7 who walked through a brain tumor that kept her and her family from the mission field for years, to a dear friend that we met in Great Falls, MT, my sweet sisters that have walked the long road with us--Jenn since 2005, and Shirley and Candy since 2007 when we met at Sovereign Grace and then Hilarie since 2011 when we met at Grace Bible in Phoenix, to my precious family--Mom, Jen, Jus, Kyle, Josie and my sweet nephews that all sang me happy birthday over video chat and then my new family here from Grace Community Church of Huntsville--Jord and I are so humbled by the gracious love and care you have poured out for us over this last year--from your constant prayers to your encouraging texts and phone calls--meals, rides, and so much more.  Constantly pointing us to our Savior and helping us keep moving forward when the road is hard--like Aaron and Hur who provided a stone for Moses to sit on and held his arms up when the staff of God got heavy so that Joshua and Israel would defeat the Amalekites in battle.  We need ALL the parts of the body of Christ--Jord and I could not run this race alone.  Due to covid, tomorrow I will be walking into the biopsy without another human by my side--but I am confident my Savior's footprints are already there and no matter what tomorrow or the news on Monday brings, I am ever safe beneath His wings...As the poem Elisabeth Elliot popularized goes, 

"Do it immediately, do it with prayer;

Do it reliantly, casting all care;

Do it with reverence, tracing His hand,

Who placed it before thee with earnest command.

Stayed with omnipotence, 

Safe 'neath His wing,

Leave all resultings,

Do the next thing!"

And so I will--in Christ's strength and by His grace, come what may!

In His Mighty Grip,

Rachelle