First of all, I am so incredibly grateful that God saw fit to give us animals on this earth that love us unconditionally and give us such joy. He didn't have to do it, but He did and I'm grateful that One Day we will get to enjoy animals in heaven without the curse of sin affecting His wonderful creation. So, just how did Crash get her name? Well, in August of 2006, my younger brother, Justin, was in a motorcycle accident. He survived, but was in a coma and endured a Traumatic Brain Injury or TBI. At the time, we didn't know how much he would recover or if he ever would. It still brings tears to my eyes thinking about how close we came to losing him and I praise God that He saw fit to spare his life. He was 21 and literally had just moved out for the first time 3 weeks before the accident. After the accident, he had to move back home so Mom and Dad could care for him and help him through rehab. Our family has always loved animals, so my sister and Dad went to the humane society and came home with a little black furball that was 3 weeks old. She was so tiny we were worried about our cat, Sylvester, hurting her.
Justin was still not remembering anything and having just been in a crash, he named her Midnight Crash. He almost named her Shadow which also would have been perfect because she follows me around like a shadow lol. Over the next year and a half, Justin slowly recovered from the accident and we all grew to love Crashers as we affectionately call her. She helped all of us smile through a very difficult time!
She really helped my Mom through the accident more than anyone. She almost lost her son and while she helped Justin to have something positive to focus on during recovery, he was out of it and didn't really understand the extent of what had happened until later. Fast forward to when he had recovered enough to move out on his own again...the subject of Crash came up and my Mom told him that he couldn't afford the custody battle. :) So, Justin moved out and got another dog, Bouie. He was out at Mom's house often and Crash and Bouie were inseparable. Sadly, Justin and Bouie were out collecting firewood for my Mom in the desert one day and he ran across the dirt road just as someone was coming and was hit. He was alive and they rushed him to the vet and he was stable, but the vet said all of a sudden he crashed and was gone. Crashers and Justin were both very hurt and lost after that for awhile.
Right before Bouie was hit, Mom and I had talked about Crash coming to live with me because every time I would go out to the house, she would get super excited--while she got excited for other people, Mom was always amazed and said that she didn't act that way around anyone but me. We even took my hearing aide out at one point to see if that was making a noise or something that was making her be so excited. We all finally realized how much she wanted to be with me when me and my sister, Jenny, went on a 2 hour horse back ride Christmas Day. She literally sat at the window and whined the entire two hours I was gone because she knew my car was still there and that I had to be out there somewhere. Mom told me she would visibly pout when I left and finally after that Christmas ride she told me, "She loves you more than she loves me, you might as well take her." We joke around that Crash "chose" me. While she chose me, little did I realize just how much I would need her in the future and how God would use her to comfort and encourage me and get me through some really dark days.
The first time I took Crash in my car I had to pull over several times to get her back in the back seat because she was trying to crawl in my lap which isn't very conducive to driving. To this day, she'll stay in the back, but she's in the middle with her front legs on the floor and her butt on the seat and her head pressed up against mine or Jord's arm snuggling with us. It's absolutely amazing the sense that God has given dogs. She knows when I'm hurting and need extra loves. She knows my routines well--and she knows when something is off. For example, when I'm doing my treatments, I do three sets of 10 minutes at different settings so the machine shuts off after 10 minutes and I have to start it up again. Sometimes I'll forget something or get up to get more water. Her and Roxy will both be laying on the couch with me and they won't move even while I go and get something because they know I'm not done with treatments. However, the second that third set stops they know it's ok to pester me. Sometimes I'm not quite finished reading or praying so I'll sit there and I try to trick them by not unbuckling my vest and taking it off, but they know that it's stopped for the third time and I can take them on a walk or get them a treat or play with them.
I'm so grateful for Crash and the joy that she brings to me everyday. She truly has been an incredible blessing and gift from God and life would have been a lot more difficult without her, especially through the psychosis episodes and vestibular injuries. During the psychosis episodes (you can find a link to those stories on the left hand side of the blog) I was controlled by irrational fears and would become extremely agitated if I didn't have Crash nearby. During the first one I can remember not being comfortable unless Jord was laying on one side of me and Crash on the other. I was afraid to be alone, but as long as I had Crash with me, I was ok. She was able to calm me down when nothing else helped. When my legs would start shaking uncontrollably from the vestibular injury she would jump up on top of them and with her weight they would stop shaking as the sense of touch really helped. Whenever I cry, she's distressed and comes and licks my face and licks my tears away. Jord and I joke that she's like a chaperone--we kiss and she growls at us. When I was recovering from all three psychosis episodes, she gave me something positive to focus on--which is what we originally bought her for my brother for. I have had to use a walker multiple times to recover from medication reactions and it's amazing that they KNOW I can't walk fast and I would put their leashes on and walk them next to my walker and even with rabbits zipping right in front of them they wouldn't budge out of the slow walk that I had to go. When I first had the walker from the first vestibular injury in Phoenix, we would go walking in the early mornings and I had the bright idea (my brain was not all there!) to sit on the walker and tie Crash's leash to it and let her pull me like a horse. I got her to where I could give one word commands and she would pull me around the neighborhood. I was taking an excessive amount of pictures and had her pose 5 million ways to Sunday and she patiently endured it all. She is a faithful and loyal companion and now that she's 10 1/2 I keep telling her she's not allowed to get old. We know all too well that time marches on, but I'm thankful for the incredible dog I have been given and treasure the time we have together.
Crashers
O what a wee one you were,
When we first brought you home,
A tiny ball of fur,
Full of love and spice.
God brought you to us,
In the midst of tragedy,
He knew how much we needed you,
More than we could ever know.
You brought laughter and smiles,
Joy where there were tears.
Every time I’d come visit,
You would leap and wriggle your body with joy,
Wagging that tail and circling round me,
I’d pet you and say hello,
Mom perplexed,
She never gets this excited,
What do you do?
You had made a choice,
And one day made it very clear,
As Jen and I rode that Christmas morn,
You sat at the window all forlorn,
When I left, you’d pout and whine,
Wondering when you’d see me next time.
Mom saw the joy we brought to each other,
And I’ll never forget that first drive home,
Pulling off before getting on the freeway,
Because you were in my lap,
Scared and unsure,
All you wanted was to be near me.
You watch over me each and every day,
Sensing my body not quite right,
Extra loving on those hard days,
Never leaving my side through those dark nights.
A few more years would go by,
Medication would damage my brain and I almost died,
I was scared to be alone,
But you never left my side.
I don’t know where I’d be without those gentle eyes,
The jingle of your collar following me as I do chores,
The laughter you bring when you beg endlessly for just one more treat,
The snuggles and love while I do treatments,
Comfort and care as you lick away my tears,
And yes I even smile when I think about the nights when I want to stretch my legs,
But you are right there stretched out comfortably.
The Bible says every good and perfect gift,
Comes down from above,
From the Father of light,
You are truly a blessing from on high,
Created especially for me,
And my life will never be the same.
Now for the fun part--pictures! :) Enjoy!
