I have been MIA for a bit. Long story short---I endured my 3rd drug induced psychosis. So if you saw anything weird in older posts, that would explain it a bit. I will be updating with lots more details and am probably finally going to work on putting together some sort of book. Our biggest prayer request besides me getting healthy is to join us in praying through Matthew 6 for God to provide for us. He always does in His perfect timing. Things got to the point that Jordan is taking some time off of work to help take care of me....and we have some pretty hefty medical bills coming....my heart is tempted to anxiety often but by His grace the Spirit takes my thoughts and I hear CJ Mahaney saying "talk to yourself, don't listen to yourself!". Needless to say, there is LOT to sort through, one of which is how Jord and I can earn some money so he can stay off work as long as is necessary, yet we still have a way to pay the bills.
My Papa who I posted about last summer, invented an Insect Trap about 30 years ago....he was just "a little" ahead of the "go green" movement and said, "We shouldn't have to poison the world to grow our food." Anyway, I'm working on trying to get some sort of page created on fb and have spent the last couple of hours doing that....I am getting closer to figuring out how to find it, but I am testing the link below more for myself than anyone through this post. However, if you knew Papa or want to walk down "memory lane" a bit, I will be posting pictures and stories of me and Papa and what he stood for and what I learned in the darkest moments of this psychosis....I don't have to CHOOSE between Jesus AND something else....Because I have Jesus and I am IN HIM, I can run at my passions as long as I am being obedient to Jesus and He is first IN my recreation or IN my pursuit of knowledge etc....anyone who knew Papa well would know he could be pretty stubborn and I guess I am more like him than I ever realized....his death in September of 1999 was what Jesus used to turn my world upside down and introduce me to the ultimate Physician. Now, 14 years later, my mind is turned upside down but thankfully Jesus never leaves, even and especially in our darkest hours.
A brief "memory" and then I gotta get going....Papa was a teacher every day of his life...I remember countless hours in the fields and around all of his "crazy" inventions....they say necessity is the mother of invention but I think Papa was always thinking about the future and how he could make something a little better for us kids and what legacy he could leave behind. The "Insect-A-Peel" trap is the "golden egg" of all of his inventions. However, Papa's mind loved the CHALLENGE...once he was set up to reap the rewards so to speak, he had already moved on to the next challenge. Kind of like us kids when we built forts in the desert...we always said, "we are going to play in THIS one forever" but we would get bored once it was all built because the challenge was gone. (Funny side note...recently our Dad found some aluminum siding in one of the washes and was wondering where it got "washed up" from...well you see about 20 years ago we built a fort there....and the rest is history) Papa lived what he preached every day of his life and he never said anything that didn't have a purpose (in my memory banks anyway!). Was he perfect? Nope, he was human and as an adult looking back, I hear other stories but those stories don't "mix" with the Papa I knew. The point is, God designs us to be in relationship with Himself and with each other. We all have a "key shaped heart" that only Jesus can fill. When we are born into this sin-cursed world, those desires are there and there is a connection between parents and children that nothing else in this world can surpass EXCEPT for the relationship believers in Jesus have with Him. And while Jesus and the Holy Spirit can give you His peace that passes all understanding, if there are broken relationships in your life (and chances are there is more than one if you've lived on this earth very long) there is heartache and pain in the midst of incredible love....which is why family relationships can be so "two sided"....you fight like cats and dogs with each other but the second someone outside your family even HINTS at what you just yelled at your brother for, you stand up, "go to bat" so to speak and flare up and "how DARE you say that about my brother" and go into how wonderful he is. (Don't worry Jus, I got your back!) ;) Yep, relationships are just a bit on the dynamic side. All that to say that I believe my favorite insect parallels the believers transformation: the Butterfly.
They start out as a caterpillar and go into a cocoon and the struggle from cocoon to butterfly is incredible. However, if someone sees the struggling butterfly and tries to "help" by shortening the "trial", the butterfly is actually injured because the struggle dries out its wings. The Christian life is something like that. We start out in a sinful ugly state (caterpillar) and start this journey called life. Jesus pursues us and instantly regenerates our hearts, however we still LOOK like a caterpillar because although our eternal destiny changes in a split second (justification), our sanctification (the journey to LOOK more like Jesus every day) is just beginning. God sees the beautiful butterfly that He has created and will see through to completion (Phil 1:6) at the end of Revelation 22. However, all we can see this side of heaven is the caterpillar, the cocoon, and in the midst of the deepest and darkest valleys (squeezing out of the cocoon to "dry" our wings out) often times our focus is on the pain and suffering but if we keep our eyes on the prize as Paul calls us to in Philippians 3 and run the race with our eyes fixed on Jesus, the Author and perfecter of our faith, it doesn't change the fact that the trials are still hard and the pain is still very real, but we know that our eternal destiny is waiting for us and in the mean time we simply need to cling to the cross, keep our eyes fixed on Jesus, then run at life with all we have and pray God uses us as His tools in His hands in His timing, because after all, as a certain special brother in law, Kyle said last September to my sister in his vows, Timing is everything.
Insect-A-Peel Facebook Page
Running Hard for Him and His Glory!
Rachelle :)
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