Mother's Day is coming up and while a blessing and fun day for many, it can be a very difficult day for some. Those that are walking through infertility, lost a child, lost a Mom, or have a bad relationship with your Mom can all pose difficult emotions come Sunday morning. Expectations of getting some "me" time like all the ads would lead you to believe but you wake up with a sick little one who is clingy and whiny and just wants Momma all day. Emotions can run the gamut and pleasing family or running between different houses to celebrate all the Mom's in your life can be exhausting instead of the refreshing day you were hoping to have. We never know what people are dealing with or walking through, so take some time this Mother's Day and reach out to someone you know who may be struggling and encourage them. Pray for them and remind them of Christ's love for them in all their messiness of life and that He died for them and loves them endlessly as only God can. For those who repent of their sin and place their trust in Jesus, He will bear those burdens that feel oh so heavy--because His yoke is easy and His burden is light. (Matthew 11:28-30)
I've had a bit of an emotional week as it's that time of month--Mom and Dad suggested I use a different pan to cook tortillas and I started crying--you can pretty much guarantee that's hormones talking when that happens! My poor hubby--he got the brunt of my "cry" day--praise God he knows me well and just held me and let me cry and when we started trying to talk about serious stuff late at night, he wisely suggested we hold off talking until we both got some rest. I started writing a poem that night and I just finished it this afternoon. I've been listening to the audiobook "Adorned" by Nancy Demoss Wolgumuth (HIGHLY recommend it--seriously in my top 5 books ever!) and she brought up Psalm 113:9 "He makes the barren woman abide in the house as a joyful mother of children. Praise the Lord!" For some reason, I had never remembered that verse but the Spirit had it leap out at me. While He has not given me my own children, He has made me a joyful spiritual Mom to many nieces and nephews that I adore. I'm going to pick a wall and put that verse on it and then get pictures of all my nieces and nephews and put them around the verse. Not only will it be awesome, but it will be a good reminder for me when I do have my moments when I still long for a child of my own. Here is the poem that kind of speaks to my journey of infertility and where God has brought me today. Enjoy...and to all my Momma friends Happy Mommy's Day--I'm so blessed to come alongside you and help you in this thing called Motherhood!
Always Dreaming
Young and so alive,
Reaching for the stars,
Endless dreams flowing,
The world at her fingertips,
Direction oh so clear.
Knowing HIS plans for her,
He sent her a special man,
She didn’t have to wait,
For the one to love her so…
‘Like a spring day or a summer night,
Your beauty is a wonder to my sight’
Wonder and awe at this feeling,
Reeling deep inside,
Oh so happy,
As they walk side by side.
The wedding comes and goes,
New wonders to behold,
Discovering life together,
Experiencing wedded bliss.
Challenges come their way,
They take it day by day,
Her dreams for little ones continue,
Then the months go by…
Months turn to years…
Waiting, waiting, waiting some more…
Oh Lord, so hard, just one, please…
She pleads through streaming tears.
Prayers become groaning too deep for words,
She’d think she was content and “ok”,
But in the depths of her soul,
Oh so far away…
“My tears have been my food day and night”
Pray with hope as long as the desire remains,
How do you hope without the desire consuming you??
Surrounded by friends with precious little ones galore,
Oh so cute and as an Auntie she adored…
Each beautiful masterpiece sent by Him,
A precious gift from above,
“Rejoice with those who rejoice…
Weep with those who weep”
She would rejoice and laugh and smile,
And they would hold her close as tears came pouring down,
Sobs racking her body,
Oh Lord, I rejoice, but this is O so hard.
The years continue to go by,
Hallucinations, medications, so much pain,
Moving here and there and everywhere,
Every time she’s treated,
Her head begins to spin,
Then spiraling down into the deep dark pit of despair…
BUT God…through all of this,
This journey called life,
The broken dreams like broken cisterns that hold no water,
Underneath the facade is anger,
Oh so surprised because “that wasn’t the Christian thing to do”…
But alas, she is only human,
And emotions send her reeling,
BUT God…He catches me every time…
Holds me close,
Wraps me in His everlasting arms,
Secures my future for all eternity,
When in the blink of an eye,
This miserable flesh will disappear…
Replaced, redeemed, and millennia spent with One so dear.
Who am I that I should be so blessed??
My broken cisterns pieced together,
Still marred, but whole once more…
My dreams still alive…just different…
Trusting God and His BEST plans for my life…
Still not easy,
The tears still come,
But He truly has given this barren woman a home,
And made her the joyful Mother of children…
While not borne through her body,
Or even adopted into her home,
These wonderful gifts given to friends and family,
Nieces and Nephews, oh so precious,
Fearfully and wonderfully made by Him,
To love me with sticky hands…
Excited “Auntie Shel is here!!”,
Great big hugs,
Itchy fingers galore,
Our Jesus song fixes our hurts and owies,
And He’s always there when we are scared,
We talk to Him on our purple phone,
Lots of snuggles, hugs, and kisses,
But most wonderful of all,
The love they pour out of their hearts…
A healing balm of gilead to this wounded soul.
Rachelle Thomas
*I am connected to slow wifi right now so I can't upload more pictures, but will add more pics of my nieces and nephews when I get a better connection.* :)
